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Writing Samples
Band 5

Experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many experts argue that it is more beneficial to start learning
language
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 in primary school rather than waiting until secondary school.
While
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 there are some challenges to early
language
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 learning, the advantages generally outweigh the disadvantages. The following essay will support
this
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 view with arguments in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, One of the biggest advantages of learning an international
language
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 at primary school is that young
children
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 acquire
languages
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 more naturally and sometimes easily.
Moreover
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, pupils studying
language
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 can enhance their cognitive development, which leads to improved
problem solving
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problem-solving
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, stronger memory retention, and critical thinking skills.
For example
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, Studies in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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kingdom
Capitalize word
Kingdom
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 have demonstrated that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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bilingual pupils can complete tasks more efficiently and faster by 50% compared to monolinguals,
what
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 is evident that the ability to think in multiple
languages
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 strengthens the brain’s capacity to handle complex information.
Secondly
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, Despite the undeniable benefits of early
language
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 learning, some argue that introducing a foreign
language
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 at a young age may lead to confusion, particularly if
children
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 are still in the process of mastering their native
language
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.
Furthermore
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, the potential disadvantage is that
,
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apply
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 in many
schools
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schools,
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 teachers may not possess the necessary
language
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 proficiency or teaching skills to provide
high quality
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high-quality
show examples
 education, which could result in ineffective lessons that fail to engage young learners.
For instance
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, research in Russia has shown that teachers of
English
Correct article usage
the English
show examples
language
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 cannot teach proper English to
children
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, because of the inefficient teaching methods and lack of understanding
the
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of the
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language
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 itself, the students
then
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 look for
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
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. In conclusion, since younger
children
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 have a natural ability to absorb new
languages
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 effortlessly,
while
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also
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 strengthening their problem-solving skills and cognitive flexibility, the advantages of early exposure to foreign
languages
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 clearly outweigh the disadvantages, which can largely be mitigated through well-structured
language
Use synonyms
 programs and properly trained educators.

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general
Your introduction is clear and effectively outlines the main argument that you will support. However, try to avoid repetition in phrasing, such as 'the following essay will support this view with arguments in the following paragraphs.' Simplifying it could enhance clarity.
content
In your body paragraphs, ensure that each point is developed fully with relevant examples. For instance, your example about bilingual students is strong, but try to provide more context and specific data when discussing the research for better clarity.
cohesion
While you have a logical structure, linking phrases could be improved to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Consider using a mix of contrastive and additive connectors to guide the reader through your arguments.
general
In the conclusion, you clearly summarize your points, but it could be more impactful with a stronger reiteration of the main argument and possible implications of early language acquisition.
content
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and maintains focus throughout, which strengthens your argument.
language
You use academic vocabulary effectively, which showcases your language proficiency and enhances the overall quality of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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