If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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If all employees in a company had the same
salary
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, no matter what their role was, there would be much more harmony and cooperation between them. My opinion will disagree completely with the essay because the goal will not be achieved and the opposite will happen. The same
salary
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is not the solution for a good environment between employees. And the reason is because it will not be a goal to reach, and more than that, they will not be serious about their
work
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.
For example
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, the University of Oxford told us in their research about the subject that the more you give the exact
salary
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, the more the competition. The opposite of
that is
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to give them a different
salary
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;
this
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will make them
work
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harder to reach a good
place
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at
work
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. And the more you are good, the more we give you more
money
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.
This
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logically works; I was working in a
place
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, and
this
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place
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gives
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
the people at
work
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the same amount of
money
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,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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this
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didn't
last
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because the goal between the employees did not exist, but when the manager did the opposite and gave a different wage, the workers started to
work
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harder. To make
this
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right, the company needs to deal with them equally and give them the same opportunities at
work
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to achieve.
This
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will create a better
place
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to
work
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instead
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of just thinking about
money
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. Some people say that it is not fair, but the more you
work
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, the more you get
money
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.
This
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is, in my opinion, fair.
Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on

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task achievement
The essay should begin with a clear thesis statement that precisely indicates the writer's stance. For example, consider rephrasing the beginning to: 'I completely disagree with the notion that equal wages for all employees would result in greater harmony and cooperation.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining logical progression throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases. For example, summarize the first point before introducing the second one.
task achievement
Provide specific examples that back your claims effectively. Rather than mentioning a hypothetical scenario, use concrete illustrations such as successful companies employing differentiated pay scales.
coherence cohesion
Conclude your essay by restating your viewpoint and summarizing the main reasons why you disagree with the topic. This reinforces your argument and ties the essay together.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the writer's opinion and the overall stance is consistently maintained.
task achievement
The writer attempts to use examples to support their points, which is good practice.
coherence cohesion
The ideas presented in the essay are clearly expressed and logically structured within each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmony
  • cohesion
  • financial incentive
  • productivity
  • equity
  • organizational culture
  • highly skilled professionals
  • innovation and competitiveness
  • redistribution of tasks
  • job satisfaction
  • meritocracy
  • contributions and achievements
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