IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is a public debate today
that
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about
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 whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professionals should be required to
server
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serve
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 the
country
Use synonyms
 where they observe their training. Some
people
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 though the professionals are very useful for their training
country
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 so they
need
Add the particle
need to
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 give
a
Remove the article
apply
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feedback to them. The other ones thought they
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 choose by themselves. In my
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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, I think
people
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 don't need to be required
for
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to
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work
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 in one
country
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both opinions. It's often said that the world
never
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apply
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haven't
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hasn't
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 a free lunch.
To
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In
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 the
country
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 where the professionals
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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got training, they have spent a
lots
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lot
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 of money to help the
people
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 finish their
study
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studies
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. They
also
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 want to recycle the input
,
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apply
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 and change the
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people
Change noun form
people's
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profession
Replace the word
professional
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 knowledge
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
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 a part of
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Correct article usage
the country
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country
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country's
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 development. And
the
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apply
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another reason is the
country
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need
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needs
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 to protect the core technology. If a foreign student
take
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takes
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 the secret skill back to his hometown, it will be a big problem for the national safe. As a professional,
the
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apply
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people
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 can
take
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make
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 more
contribution
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contributions
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 to the world. If the professional study or
Use synonyms
work
Fix the agreement mistake
works
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 in
other
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another country
other countries
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country
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, they
also
Linking Words
 can have an international cooperated
work
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 with their trained
country
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. Following the technology communication, they can
get
Verb problem
apply
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win to win with each other.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professional
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professionals
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also
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can
Verb problem
apply
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help someone
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in
the
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apply
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developing countries,
such
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 as international doctors. In Africa, many
people
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 get
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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help and save
life
Add an article
a life
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 when they
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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in
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from
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 illness.
The professional
Correct article usage
Professional
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people
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 from different countries have been an important part
in
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of
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 the world.
Although
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the
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apply
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different
people
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 have different views
in
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on
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professional's
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professional
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work
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.
However
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,
overall
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, I
more
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apply
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encourage
the
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apply
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professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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 can decide
the
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on the
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work
Use synonyms
 location by themselves and I think it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
good trend for internationalization.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs more clarity and should more explicitly outline the two views you will discuss and state your opinion clearly. The phrasing could be more formal and precise.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs need clearer topic sentences and transitions to improve overall flow and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
both
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage. Review subject-verb agreement and ensure your sentences are correctly structured. Some phrases are awkward and could be phrased more naturally.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. They can help strengthen your argument and provide evidence for your views.
task achievement
You discuss both sides of the issue, showing an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
task achievement
You offer a personal opinion, which is crucial in IELTS essays, showing engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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