Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are arguments about whether the best idea to improve public

health

Use synonyms

is by creating more

sports

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facilities,

whereas

Linking Words

other people believe that it is not sufficient to make a significant impact. From my standpoint, I agree with the latter viewpoint because there are a number of individuals who cannot afford to go to

sports

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facilities and there are alternative ways to improve the quality of

health

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. On the one hand, it could be accepted that

sports

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facilities support all ages to improve their well-being. These places provide tools

such

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as gym equipment and personal trainers to explain, motivate, and create programs based on what we need.

Nonetheless

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, the payment to gain all of

this

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should not be overlooked because renting a place for practice and hiring a trainer may lead to high costs.

For instance

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, I conducted interviews at a gymnasium in Medan, Indonesia, and 63% of those with gym memberships said the price is extremely expensive for those who do not have a stable job yet.

On the other hand

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, there are many activities to lead a healthy life without spending much money that

also

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benefit the wellness of individuals. First of all, everyone could go jogging every morning before starting other activities to improve cardiovascular

health

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Additionally

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, people should eat healthy food

such

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as vegetables and fruits and try to avoid fast food because they have harmful effects on the body.

For example

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, a research paper from a lecturer at the University of Indonesia emphasizes that incorporating physical activity into daily life is a wise choice because it will boost people’s spirit throughout the day and can prevent various infectious diseases. In conclusion,

although

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increasing the number of

sports

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centres can lead to improved public

health

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, I firmly believe that

this

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would have little impact on community

health

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and there are some ways which are more affordable and efficient to be done.

heyyo Sat Nov 04 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, body paragraphs should elaborate on each viewpoint, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your position with a clear result of the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Work on connecting ideas smoothly and logically. Use a range of cohesive devices such as linking words, synonyms, and pronouns to ensure that paragraphs flow well and ideas are well connected. Try to achieve clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task. Present a clear position throughout the response, clearly respond to the task prompt, and make sure the opinion provided is consistent and relevant. Develop main points with explanations and support them with relevant, specific examples.

task achievement

Strive for a balance between discussing both views and presenting your opinion. Ensure that your personal stance is evident and stands out in the essay, but also that both sides of the argument are given fair consideration.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation.

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You are not satisfied with the changing rooms in a sports centre that you visit. Write a letter to the manager. - What the problem is - How you feel about the problem - What steps you want the manager to take

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?