IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Even when poor countries get help from rich countries, hunger is still an issue. Discuss probable causes and solutions. Support your answer with specific reasons and examples. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Starvation
have
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has
show examples
 faced in
undevelopted
Correct your spelling
undeveloped
developed
 countries even though they are
receving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 assistance from
developed
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a developed
show examples
nation
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nations
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 nation and ways to
tackel
Correct your spelling
tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue. To start with, the first reason is that poor
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 have been increasing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
populaion
Correct your spelling
population
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
which will be
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
 of unemployment. When
people
Use synonyms
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
thus
Linking Words
, they will not be
abol
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able
 to manage their
livehood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
. For
instanceIn
Correct your spelling
instance
, In
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 30% of young
people
Use synonyms
 have no job.
according to
Linking Words
 the report of
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
show examples
. it is because of fever opportunities
due to
Linking Words
 the number of individuals
consequently
Linking Words
, they face challenges of basic needs.
In addition
Linking Words
, agriculture is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial part of some countries but young
people
Use synonyms
does
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 field
due to
Linking Words
support
Correct article usage
the support
show examples
 of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
, they are leading to
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 needs.
However
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should make strict
lows
Correct your spelling
laws
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 birth control.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 family
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
. If
people
Use synonyms
 know how overpopulation is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 cause of lack of hunger and
also
Linking Words
 unemployment
then
Linking Words
 they will be secure about child
plannig
Correct your spelling
planning
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide support to the agriculture field which will be a hand to improve their financial help
as a result
Linking Words
huger
Correct your spelling
hunger
show examples
 can
be control
Change the verb form
be controlled
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, overpopulation and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 agriculture are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 hunger in poor countries,
this
Linking Words
 can managed by effective birth control and economic help authorities.

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Grammar
Make sure to check grammar and spelling, such as 'Starvation have faced' should be 'Starvation has been faced' and 'undevelopted' should be 'underdeveloped.'
Structure
Use a clearer structure for your paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and supporting details.
Content
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points. For example, the connection between unemployment and hunger could be elaborated.
Language
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
Structure
Provide a clearer conclusion that summarizes the entire essay and reinforces your main points.
Content
The essay identifies key issues related to hunger in poor countries, such as overpopulation and lack of interest in agriculture.
Task Achievement
The intention to discuss causes and solutions is clear, showing an understanding of the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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