IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that developed countries have higher responsibilities to climate change than developing countries. others believe countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment . discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Environment protection is not only for improved and improving country responsibilities but
also
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 part of undeveloped countries. Few mankind
feel
Change the verb form
feels
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 that well-developed
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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 are more leaders than growing
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 leaders in characteristic weather substitutes.
First,
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progressed provinces are using various chemicals in many industries which will absorb
in
Change preposition
apply
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rainwater or air which will create pollution and cause humidity impact.
Moreover
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, with advanced technology like in Dubai
last
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 year
due to
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 higher temperatures people create rainfall by using technology and breaking snow on the sky
finally
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 the result is complete Dubai is covered with
flood
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floods
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like
this
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 experiments are highly considered for climate swap.
Secondly
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, maturing
union
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unions
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 are using more borewells for H2O and the earth under water is parallelly decreasing
due to
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this
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 earth's rotating changing the angle which news was published times in the USA
last
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 year.
However
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, developing countries have improved in wooden art and forest are now becoming beautiful cities, because of
this
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 reason those cities are facing high temperatures in summer,
Furthermore
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 rainstorms will not be on time as there are no more trees.
Finally
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, well-settled
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
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 and growing cities have the same job on clime split matter, so the public needs to know about the environment to keep good atmospheric conditions all over the year and balanced sessions for all summer, winter and drizzle, take care of forest saving and use harmless chemicals which will help to the society.

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task achievement
The essay lacks a clear introduction that outlines the topic and the two perspectives being discussed. Try to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction.
task achievement
Some ideas are presented without sufficient explanation or development. Adding more details and elaborating on your points will make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Conclude with a strong statement that summarizes your opinion on the responsibility of developed and developing countries regarding climate change. This will solidify your argument and provide closure to your essay.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a positive aspect of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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