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Band 6.5

In recent years, more and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, an increasing number of individuals prefer to read digital
books
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instead
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 of their paper versions.
This
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 shift in reading habits can be attributed to the numerous
advantages
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 that digital
books
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 offer, especially in terms of accessibility and convenience.
However
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, there are some disadvantages associated with reading digital
books
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,
such
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 as
vision
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problems
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 that arise
due to
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 prolonged screen time. In my opinion, the
advantages
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 of digital
books
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 outweigh the disadvantages, particularly because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vision
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problems
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 can be addressed easily through various solutions. The increasing use of digital
books
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 has contributed to a rise in
vision
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problems
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 among the population.
For example
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,
according to
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 the World Health Organization (WHO), the number of individuals experiencing visual defects has increased by 17% globally in recent years. One of the causes of these
vision
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problems
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 is the radiation emitted from digital book devices.
This
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 radiation can lead to various
vision
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 issues,
such
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 as presbyopia, which is age-related difficulty in seeing close objects, and hyperopia, which is farsightedness. These issues are concerning, but they can be tackled with minor changes,
such
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 as wearing corrective glasses or opting for LASIK surgery, which are both simple and effective solutions.
On the other hand
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, reading electronic
books
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 offers significant
advantages
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, particularly in terms of accessibility.
For instance
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, a person can easily download a book and read it anywhere, without the need to carry a physical copy.
Additionally
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, e-
books
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 allow people to access a vast range of reading materials without the burden of carrying heavy
books
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. With the increasing use of electronic
books
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, individuals can now store a large number of
books
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 on their tablets and access them conveniently, which makes reading a more comfortable and enjoyable experience. In conclusion, I believe that the
advantages
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 of reading e-
books
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,
such
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 as increased accessibility, far outweigh the disadvantages,
such
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 as
vision
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problems
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, because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vision
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-related issues can be easily managed with corrective measures.

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task achievement
Consider diversifying your examples to strengthen your arguments further. While you provided specific information about vision problems, using examples related to accessibility features of e-books (like adjustable font sizes or built-in dictionaries) could enhance your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs clearly differentiate between the advantages and disadvantages. Although you did this effectively, emphasizing contrasting points between the two could deepen the analysis.
coherence and cohesion
You might also want to use more linking phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'in contrast' or 'on the contrary' can help signal shifts in your argument more clearly.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss, which helps guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
You made effective use of specific examples, particularly from credible sources like the WHO, which adds substantial weight to your argument regarding vision problems.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance and reinforces the main advantages discussed in the essay, effectively wrapping up your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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