Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Crime is the main important factor that impacts society's safety, so reducing it is really crucial. A group of people think that
this
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situation can be solved when the
time
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in jail increases
while
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others think that other methods are more efficient. In my personal view, the second perspective is the best idea when authorities enhance the level of criminals' and inhabitants' education and skills. On the one hand, when criminals spend too much
time
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in prison,
then
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they cannot commit
crimes
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and
this
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way prevents others from committing
crimes
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.
In other words
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,
this
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method prevents violent individuals from going back to society and becoming a big threat to the population.
In addition
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, the community who like to commit
crimes
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can compare the benefits of their work and the
time
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that they have to spend in jail and choose one of them.
On the other hand
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, the fact
that is
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really essential is that most crime is a result of a lack of job opportunities for the population.
Therefore
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, if people from all walks of life have access to free education, the number of populations who can work in various industries will climb.
Moreover
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, most people have income and they do not follow some work that has a negative impact on their society.
Additionally
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, criminals, who are in prison learn various skills and science
,
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apply
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and become workforces when they come back from these places. These communities can affect the growth of the economy.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, raising the
time
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spent in jail for
crimes
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is the best way to keep violent populations and ban some of them to not committing
crimes
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.
However
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, education is the best item that has an economic impact and trains workers for countries.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion, but make sure to explain your points more thoroughly and substantiate them with more detailed examples.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using more linking words and structuring your paragraphs more clearly to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure you vary your sentence structures to keep the writing engaging and to show a higher command of language.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument and provided your perspective, which is important for a balanced discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
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