Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays
crimes
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are everywhere,if we
compair
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compare
it
before
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to before
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the world now is going to be more dangerous than before.Even teens that we couldn't expect to
do
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commit
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
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crimes
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was
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were
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changed. In
this
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writing
Add a comma
writing,
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I will discuss
in
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apply
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my own opinion about
crime
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and how to reduce it. Some people say that giving more punishment to the culprit will reduce
crime
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.
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However
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However,
show examples
some say
its
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it's
it is
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not the right way because they insist that even though they are
criminal
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criminals
show examples
they still have the right to live. I will
make
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give
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an example
in
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of
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my
country
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, where drug addicts and
pusher
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pushers
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were spread
in
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throughout
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the entire
country
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. Because of these
uncontroled
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uncontrolled
phenomenom
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phenomena
crimes
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like killings,rape,robbery
ect
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etc
. were in the news
everyday
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every day
show examples
, Until
the
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apply
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one brave politician from the south of the
country
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won the Presidential Election. He
figths
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fights
fight
the drug dealers with iron
fist
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fists
show examples
and even
kill
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kills
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them all.The drug users
on the other hand
Linking Words
were put into jail. With the rule of these brave
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presidents
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president
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president,
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many
crimes
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in the
country
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were
minimize
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minimised
show examples
. In my
example
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example,
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I would say that giving hard punishment or even
take
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taking
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their lives
have
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has
show examples
a huge effect on criminals.They will feel fear that we
thougt
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thought
that they
havn't
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haven't
. Some say there are other ways to reduce
crime
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in a way that
it
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apply
show examples
dosn't
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doesn't
hurt or punish them and I believe them too. But we need
so
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to
show examples
start in every family,
this
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is the best starting point where from children parents should
decipline
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discipline
them the most in foremost bring it to church.In
these
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this way
these ways
show examples
way
Add a comma
way,
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they might learn about God which teach
as
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us
show examples
all to Love. In my conclusion even though we have
a big differences
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a big difference
big differences
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in culture and tradition
crimes
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must
be punish
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be punished
show examples
according to
Linking Words
the law because these laws were designed to regulate
crime
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your discussion of both views into distinct paragraphs. This will help to enhance the overall structure of your essay and improve coherence.
task achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points made in your essay. This helps reinforce your opinion and gives a clear final message to the reader.
task achievement
Be attentive to grammatical errors and spelling, as these can distract from the clarity of your arguments. Proofreading your essay before submission can help catch these mistakes.
task achievement
You have made a clear effort to present your opinion on the issue, which is important for addressing the prompt effectively.
task achievement
Your use of a personal example related to your country adds a unique perspective to the discussion of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
What to do next:
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