IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the crime rate amongst underaged people has been rising, Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the increase in
crime
Use synonyms
 among underage individuals is a serious problem.
However
Linking Words
, we can witness several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 tendency
as well as
Linking Words
 alternative clues to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lack of parental supervision.Some parents are too busy to watch their youngsters so they do not know what their kids are doing.
As a result
Linking Words
, children follow bad friends and get involved
Secondly
Linking Words
, social media and bad influences
also
Linking Words
 play a role. Some websites and videos make
crime
Use synonyms
 look exciting which can encourage young
people
Use synonyms
 to do the same. To reduce youth
crime
Use synonyms
 parents should spend more time with their children and teach them good values.The government should create more job opportunities and provide education so young
people
Use synonyms
 can have a better future. Schools and communities should offer more activities,
such
Linking Words
 as sports and arts, to keep young
people
Use synonyms
 busy with positive things.
Also
Linking Words
, there should be stricter laws and better rehabilitation programs to help young offenders change their behaviour. In conclusion, underage
crime
Use synonyms
 is a growing issue, but it can be solved with proper care, education, and opportunities. If families, schools, and society work together, we can create a safer future for young
people
Use synonyms
 and everyone else.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the causes of youth crime and provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Consider personal stories or statistics to illustrate your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure to ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences relate to this idea. Transition words can further enhance the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and makes a good attempt to discuss both causes and solutions to the problem of youth crime.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a hopeful outlook regarding the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: