IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local people when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Tourism
Use synonyms
 brings more economy among different countries. Some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that it is right to
charged
Change the verb
charge
show examples
 more
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foreign visitors when they visit
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 cultural and historical
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
. I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
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 with the statement there should be more
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 for accommodation, food,
travelling
Correct word choice
and travelling
show examples
 for foreigners.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some people rely on
tourism
Use synonyms
 for their livelihood. Like,in Gujarat or Rajasthan, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 sell cultural
artifacts
Change the spelling
artefacts
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 to foreigners to support their home.
Secondly
Linking Words
, each
country
Use synonyms
 has
different
Correct article usage
a different
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 currency rate. People coming from different countries may have high exchange
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 which helps
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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 to boost
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 economy.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 helps to preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical places. High funds coming from
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
 can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to preserve and maintain historical buildings.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
Taj
Correct article usage
the Taj
show examples
 Mahal, the government of India
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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 expenses that they make from visitors,
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the maintenance of
Correct article usage
the building
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building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 and
ita
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
. In conclusion, increasing
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 will help to boost
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
. It helps to support local vendors and preserve our cultural places.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but it could be improved by more clearly outlining your opinion in the introduction and explaining your reasoning with more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will make the flow of your essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and clarity, especially with article use and verb forms (for example, 'charged' should be 'charge').
task achievement
Your points about the economic benefits of tourism and the preservation of historical sites are relevant and significant.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion early on, which is essential in an argumentative essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • maintenance
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • differential pricing
  • overcrowding
  • discriminatory
  • tourism revenue
  • economic impact
  • sustainability
  • responsible tourism
  • global heritage
  • cultural exchange
  • funding models
  • tourist influx
  • local taxpayers
What to do next:
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