Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
There have been ongoing debates regarding whether retired
people
should not be forced to work anymore, Use synonyms
while
others argue that they must have the freedom rights to opt for their career paths without considering age. Both points of view and the reason why I prefer the latter argument will be elaborated on in Linking Words
this
essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with, it is sensible for some to believe that the elder generation must be prohibited to continue working seeing that several individuals think that they should have available time to rest after working hard for 30-40 years. Linking Words
Moreover
, various enterprises might think that Linking Words
this
generation has a low ability to build their products effectively. Take the research of Oxford University, Linking Words
for instance
, Linking Words
while
young Linking Words
people
can create marketing ideas more than 3 ideas in one day, elder Use synonyms
people
merely have one idea or nothing.
Use synonyms
Conversely
, several governments in Europe bend over backwards to support elder workers. Because of the lack of capable workers and the suicide of the baby boomer generation. Linking Words
Firstly
, in Linking Words
this
day and age, human beings are less interested in creating the number of popularity Linking Words
due to
the COVID-19 pandemic, causing them to have more awareness, that having a child has a lot of caring costs. Linking Words
Secondly
, take Japan, Linking Words
for example
, elders are likely to suicide because they look at themselves as purposeless.
Linking Words
Therefore
, I personally argue in favour of encouraging elders to have a Linking Words
job
in order to prevent detrimental situations in society. To put it simply, Use synonyms
instead
of unallowing them to get a Linking Words
job
, the government can offer some jobs, which Use synonyms
requires
fewer abilities, Correct subject-verb agreement
require
such
as a cleaning Linking Words
job
or a security guard in order to make value Use synonyms
people
.
In conclusion, even though others argue that elders are useless in the Use synonyms
job
industry, I think that if the government allocates them to the right place. they can simulate the economy in the long run.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Ensure you maintain clarity and precision in presenting arguments. Some points need more elaboration or are slightly unclear.
task achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to strengthen arguments. Currently, the examples provided are somewhat limited.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between points. Some transitions between ideas can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, try to ensure each main point is fully developed before moving to the next one.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Good effort at providing relevant examples, although they can be expanded and diversified more.