Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
There have been ongoing debates regarding whether retired
people
should not be forced to work anymore, while
others argue that they must have the freedom rights to opt for their career paths without considering age. Both points of view and the reason why I prefer the latter argument will be elaborated on in this
essay.
To begin
with, it is sensible for some to believe that the elder generation must be prohibited to continue working seeing that several individuals think that they should have available time to rest after working hard for 30-40 years. Moreover
, various enterprises might think that this
generation has a low ability to build their products effectively. Take the research of Oxford University, for instance
, while
young people
can create marketing ideas more than 3 ideas in one day, elder people
merely have one idea or nothing.
Conversely
, several governments in Europe bend over backwards to support elder workers. Because of the lack of capable workers and the suicide of the baby boomer generation. Firstly
, in this
day and age, human beings are less interested in creating the number of popularity due to
the COVID-19 pandemic, causing them to have more awareness, that having a child has a lot of caring costs. Secondly
, take Japan, for example
, elders are likely to suicide because they look at themselves as purposeless.
Therefore
, I personally argue in favour of encouraging elders to have a job
in order to prevent detrimental situations in society. To put it simply, instead
of unallowing them to get a job
, the government can offer some jobs, which requires
fewer abilities, Correct subject-verb agreement
require
such
as a cleaning job
or a security guard in order to make value people
.
In conclusion, even though others argue that elders are useless in the job
industry, I think that if the government allocates them to the right place. they can simulate the economy in the long run.Submitted by phumrapee33 on
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task achievement
Ensure you maintain clarity and precision in presenting arguments. Some points need more elaboration or are slightly unclear.
task achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to strengthen arguments. Currently, the examples provided are somewhat limited.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between points. Some transitions between ideas can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, try to ensure each main point is fully developed before moving to the next one.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Good effort at providing relevant examples, although they can be expanded and diversified more.
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