Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is thought that young children need to be taken in a full-time academic system until they reach the age of 18. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
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statement because there are significant benefits to support
this
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idea
while
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having only a few drawbacks.
Firstly
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, an
education
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, which was taught to students from primary school to at least 18 years old, is minimum pieces of knowledge and basic subjects that many learners should have known because these kinds of studies will help students live in society or expand to study in universities or working life.
For instance
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, a subject
such
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as mathematics assists you in calculating any expenses or buying food or other kinds of stuff.
Furthermore
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, writing or linguistic lectures aid you in the ability of speaking and reading. Some students extend their knowledge to study in a third language or work abroad.
Additionally
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, having a whole-time
education
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will get a lot of friends and connections. Especially, kids who frequently change schools at each level like from kindergarten to primary, and
also
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to secondary. Because of different environments, young people need to adapt and learn how to act in various situations and societies.
However
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, an obvious barrier to staying at the entire academy is money. Many families have to withdraw their kids from schools because there are shortages of
this
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factor.
Nevertheless
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, the government and the Ministry of
Education
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should take responsibility for providing a standard full-time
education
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to many young populations in the country. In conclusion, there are many massive advantages
following
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this
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essay on why many young people should be required to a proper study program until they are at least 18 years old since it will help them in all aspects of their lives.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and rephrase the question to demonstrate understanding. A more detailed introduction will enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using clearer linking phrases between ideas and paragraphs; this can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing social connections, you could elaborate on how these connections may benefit students in the future.
coherence and cohesion
Try to minimize minor grammatical errors to improve overall clarity. Proofreading can help catch issues such as articles and plural forms.
task achievement
You effectively outline the importance of education and provide a rationale for your agreement, which shows a clear understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your points well, reiterating the essay's main thrust which reinforces your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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