IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is important to spend a lot of money on a wedding celebration, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is clear that
Linking Words
 education is an essential element of our life and has a huge impact on society, but in terms of private
schools
Use synonyms
, should countries give them
financiall
Correct your spelling
financial
financially
 facilities
?.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 I believe they should because of two reasons , it is useful to improve the educational system and to build more
schools
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. the educational system around the world lacks many sources of teaching and learning, and
that is
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 mostly because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough
financiall
Correct your spelling
financial
 sources to provide that.
In addition
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, in order for any nation to become developed and powerful, they should
focucs
Correct your spelling
focus
and
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on and
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 build a great educational system, and that means governments must provide certain funding to private
schools
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 for the good of
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
.
For example
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, Bill Gates, the founder of the empire
of
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apply
show examples
Microsoft,
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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story with computers began when his school back
then
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 provided computers for students to learn,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 he created one of the top companies in history
and
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apply
show examples
that shows us the importance of our topic.
In addition
Linking Words
, parents suffer sometimes
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 not finding
schools
Use synonyms
 that are near where they live, or
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 finding
schools
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 that serve their criteria. A 2013 study in London of 100 parents says that 76% of them are struggling
at finding
Change preposition
to find
show examples
schools
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 near
thire
Correct your spelling
their
 location,
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
 having the nations supporting private
schools
Use synonyms
 financially would certainly solve that problem. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it might be costly for
conutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 to fund private
schools
Use synonyms
, it is critical to do so because of the
resaons
Correct your spelling
reasons
 mentioned before.

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language
Improve grammar and spelling errors, especially 'financial' and 'focus'.
content
The essay presents both sides of the argument clearly and includes relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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