In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cell phone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In my opinion, the development of using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
is a positive thing because it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the
work
Use synonyms
easy , in the beginning of the
mobille
Correct your spelling
mobile
phone using they could send email or
sms
Correct your spelling
SMS
show examples
letters between them fastly without having to face each other.
Firstly
Linking Words
, using these
phones
Use synonyms
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
woork
Correct your spelling
work
by
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
each other online at
each
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
time and city,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
the
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
of time, cost, and
uneffective
Correct your spelling
ineffective
show examples
resources.
Secondly
Linking Words
, currently
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
developed to a level that you can use the system to schedule your tasks and share
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
with the required
people
Use synonyms
, and that helped the organizations to manage their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and
people
Use synonyms
effectively and efficiently.
In addition
Linking Words
, now
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artificial intelligence has shifted the
manually
Change the word
manual
show examples
or
effecient
Correct your spelling
efficient
work
Use synonyms
by the computer
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
will reduce error, time, and cost.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the disadvantages of developing mobile things
that
Add a missing verb
are that
show examples
might affect the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
work
Use synonyms
by replacing them with computers and
this
Linking Words
is beneficial for the company
work
Use synonyms
, but
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the quality of life for
people
Use synonyms
is not beneficial.
Finally
Linking Words
,
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
my
mind
Add a comma
mind,
show examples
I prefer to use the best practice of using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
that
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
the
work
Use synonyms
or daily tasks done
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
without affect negitively for the quality of
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas by clearly separating each point into its own paragraph. Use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clearer examples to support your points, particularly in the second main point regarding how mobile phones manage tasks better.
grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity. There are a few spelling and grammatical errors that detract from the overall impression.
content
You provided relevant points discussing both advantages and disadvantages of using mobile phones for payments.
content
Your introduction presents a clear opinion that sets the tone for the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mobile payments
  • Biometric authentication
  • Transaction costs
  • Budgeting
  • Technological barriers
  • Privacy concerns
  • Data breaches
  • Identity theft
  • Over-reliance
  • Market fragmentation
  • Competing payment apps
  • Financial inclusion
  • Security features
  • User convenience
  • Cashless transactions
  • Digital wallet
What to do next:
Look at other essays: