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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Assel.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Assel.
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The pie charts depict information about the proportions of
people
Use synonyms
 in three distinct age groups in two countries, namely Yemen and Italy. The diagram reveals that the
proportion
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 of
people
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 aged 15–59 is expected to rise in Yemen,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of younger individuals will decline.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italy is projected to experience a significant increase in its elderly population,
while
Linking Words
 the
proportion
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 of minors will decrease. In Yemen, the
proportion
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 of
people
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 aged 15–59 was 46.3%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the working-age group will grow to 57.3%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of young
people
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 is expected
decrease
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to decrease
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 to 37%. In 2000, only a small fraction 3.6% were 60 or older. By 2050, the elderly population will see a slight increase to 5.7%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italy had an older population in 2000. By 2050 the
proportion
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 of
people
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 over 60 is projected to rise significantly to 42.3%. In 2050, the working-age category percentage of
people
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 will be smaller than 2000. It is explicitly observed that the under-15 group is expected to decline slightly to 11.5% from 14.3%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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