IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the less of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is thought by some
people
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 that the extinction of certain members of flora and fauna is the most critical environmental issue in the modern world. Meanwhile, other
people
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 allege that there is
more
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a more
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 serious
problem
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such
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 as
a
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apply
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global warming. In my essay, I will dwell on both points of view and provide my perspectives.
To begin
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 with, It is undeniable that each species has a unique genetic code.
Consequently
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, it means that If it vanishes once, it can never be restored again.
Thus
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, the loss of biodiversity is a huge tragedy with
irriversible
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irreversible
 changes.
For instance
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, the northern white rhinoceros has recently
became
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become
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 extinct because of human activity and despite a myriad of attempts
preserve
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to preserve
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genetic
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the genetic
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 code, it is lost forever. So,
people
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 claim that missing at least one member of flora or fauna is the largest
problem
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 with which mankind can face.
On the other hand
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, another group of
people
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 asserts that global warming is
more
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a more
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 severe issue because it has an influence on the entire planet.
For example
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, the melting of glaciers in Antarctica, which is caused by climate change, led to a reduction in the population of penguins and the rising of water level.
Thus
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,
this
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problem
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 affects both the terrain of the Earth and all living creatures on it. In conclusion,
although
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 I agree that the loss of biodiversity is a significant
problem
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but
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apply
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global warming must be considered as a main issue, because it has an impact on
the
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apply
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all layers of
biosphere
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the biosphere
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.
Consequently
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, global warming can
lean
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lead
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 to
extinction
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the extinction
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 of all living beings.

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grammar
Make sure to avoid grammatical errors, such as "the less of particular species" should be "the loss of particular species".
clarity
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your opinion in a more definitive manner.
depth
Develop the arguments in the body paragraphs more fully to provide a deeper analysis.
content
You presented a balanced view by acknowledging both perspectives on the environmental issues.
examples
The use of specific examples, such as the extinction of the northern white rhinoceros, adds credibility to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • extinction
  • irreversible
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • overpopulation
  • resource depletion
  • interconnectivity
  • comprehensive approach
  • immediate health impacts
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