IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You rented a car from Car Rental Company. The air conditioner has stopped working. You phoned the company a week ago but it still has not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself – explain the situation – say what action you would like the company to take

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Hello, Dear Kim, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I have faced a problem with a system air conditioner in a car which I rented from your company. My name is Aoba I am from Japan, I am working in the city centre with your brother who introduced me to you.
Besides
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 I met you at your office to rent a car
last
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 month.
Although
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 I go to work every day even
weekends
Change preposition
at weekends
show examples
 in the afternoon,
In addition
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, I use the air conditioner all the time
while
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 I am driving,
However
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,
Last
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 week when I switched on the
vehicle
Use synonyms
 and I was trying to
swich
Correct your spelling
switch
 on the air conditioner, I found it is not working.
However
Linking Words
, I tried to call you
last
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 week, But, You could not reply
my
Change preposition
to my
show examples
 call. So, I would like you to pick up the
vehicle
Use synonyms
 in front of my home and give me
other
Change the wording
another vehicle
other vehicles
show examples
vehicle
Use synonyms
, Please. I have many duties to do,
Therefore
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, I will not be able to drop off the
vehicle
Use synonyms
 in your office. Thank you, I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Dyu Sincerely

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity. For example, consider separating your introduction and the explanation of your situation into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
While the greeting is informal, it’s important to maintain a consistent tone throughout the letter. Consider using 'Dear Kim' at the beginning and a formal closing like 'Yours sincerely'.
task achievement
Clarify your request more assertively by stating that you expect a prompt response regarding the exchange of the vehicle.
positive
The letter is polite and maintains a friendly tone throughout, which is great for customer service communication.
positive
You provided context about your relationship with the recipient, which adds a personal touch to your letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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