IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You will have a speech about your country on the international college event. Write a letter to the event’s planners about the following: - Ask about the date of the event - What speech you prepared/why it should be interesting -What equipment you will need for your speech

Dear Mrs Nika, I am writing to enquire about the international college event that we are planning to celebrate
at the end
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 of
this
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 month. I am preparing to give a speech, unfortunately, I do not have a schedule for the event. I would request you to provide the date, which would be helpful for me to prepare
accordingly
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.
Firstly
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, I wanted to inform you that I am preparing my speech on the topic "Environmental protection" because it is one of the pressing issues that needs immediate attention.
Moreover
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, students in our college are organising campaigns to inculcate the importance of environmental protection, so I believe my speech would be interesting and engaging with students.
Furthermore
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, I would request you to provide a pair of speakers and a projector to present my presentation slides. I truly appreciate your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience. Yours faithfully, Jeevitha S

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task response
The letter asks for the date and talk details well. To be full, add a line that says why the talk fits the event and how long it will be.
coherence
Break long sentences into two. Use a dot to end one thought, then start a new one.
coherence
Try to use one idea in each paragraph. Right now the paragraphs hold two ideas in some parts.
grammar
Check any small grammar rule, like using 'but' or 'and' to join ideas and small fixes in punctuation.
tone
polite and formal tone
content
clear request for the date
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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