It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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While
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it's tempting to spend
money
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to buy things we desire, it's prudent that we save for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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as well.
This
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is true for
people
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across
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of
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all ages including youngsters. I firmly take a stand with
this
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view as I believe financial prudence is the key to a happy and prosperous life. There is no doubt that
people
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aspire to have
a
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apply
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good purchasing power to not only meet basic needs but
also
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buy
the
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apply
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aspirational products. In today's modern materialistic world, It's very alluring, especially for young ones, to buy expensive luxury items when they just start earning
money
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. It's important not to fall for
this
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otherwise
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people
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will get into the trap of credit and a big part of their income will be spent in the monthly installments.
As a result
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, they will not be able to build
weath
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wealth
for their future.
Instead
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, they should focus on saving some part of their income regularly. It will help in multiple ways.
Firstly
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, an emergency fund should be prepared for rainy days
such
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as job loss. During a crisis,
this
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fund could be used for paying rent or buying necessary groceries.
Secondly
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, savings can help to meet life goals
such
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as buying
home
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a home
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or a car in future. Without savings, it won't be possible to buy an item requiring a big budget. The reserve
money
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would
also
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help during retirement days to maintain a sustainable lifestyle.
Lastly
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, if
people
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start putting
money
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in
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into
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the
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apply
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investments from
early
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an early
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stage, it will grow into big wealth. As per
compounding
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the compounding
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principle,
earlier
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the earlier
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the saving starts,
bigger
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the bigger
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the wealth accumulation is.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe in securing some part of
paycheck
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your paycheck
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towards saving as
early
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an early
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financial discipline will not only rescue you from
emergency
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emergencies
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but
also
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provide you
Add the preposition
with a
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a
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apply
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financial freedom later in life.

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coherence and cohesion
You have provided a strong introduction that clearly states your opinion. However, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for stronger coherence.
task achievement
You could enhance your arguments by adding more specific examples or a counterargument to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
While you successfully articulated the importance of saving, including a more diverse set of examples related to different age groups could enhance the depth of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and supports it effectively with several relevant points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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