IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

What are the key arguments, both positive and negative, presented in the essay for preferring homeownership over renting?

To begin
Linking Words
 with, people who
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to
owning
Wrong verb form
own
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 a home become more fashionable in
latest
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
 years. From my perspective, people find that the idea is owning a house is more reasonable.
And in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain why people opt for buying a house
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 being a tenant with positive and negative sides. First of all, a home
belongs
Correct pronoun usage
that belongs
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 to me shall make me feel better if I compare renting one. Because you can do everything you want when you have your own home. Another advantage would be feeling comfortable because you do not need to pay tuition for every month except for your
electric
Replace the word
electricity
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 and water tuition.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some countries need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
temporal
Correct your spelling
temporary
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 workers for different jobs
such
Linking Words
 as dangerous ones.
For instance
Linking Words
, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world war 2, some countries needed to hire foreigners for jobs and
this
Linking Words
 was one of the foremost advantages for all the countries when we
back
Add a missing verb
were back
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 1950s. To wrap up, I made that mean when individuals go to another country, they would rent homes because they are temporary workers there.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it has
also
Linking Words
 certain drawbacks.
Firstly
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, it would huge effect on
peoples
Change noun form
people's
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 economic situation. To illustrate,
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 have to pay the tuition every month.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a person who has economic problems may feel miserable and it can lead to some mental issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, even apartment homes are so expensive
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.

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task achievement
The introduction is a bit unclear and could be more directly stated. Ensure that your thesis reflects the main arguments clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support your points. It will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
The essay presents both positive and negative aspects of homeownership and renting, which is important for a balanced argument.
task achievement
Some interesting points are raised about the economic implications of homeownership and renting, showing critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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