Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A school of thought holds that continuing study at a higher level is the best way to achieve goals,

whereas

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other people assert that it is essential for students to apply for a job after high school.

This

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essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the former notion. On the one hand, entering the work market after graduating high school could be justifiable for many people.

Firstly

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this

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choice may give adults financial independence. Individuals can get a salary

instead

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of relying on their parent's money,

this

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could help them buy some things which they like,

moreover

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helping them know the burden that their parents went through.

Secondly

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, working early improves many skills

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

communication, social,

problem-solving

Correct word choice

and problem-solving

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, … These skills help them evolve, gain practical experience

On the other hand

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, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that keeping study in colleges or universities offers many advantages. One reason is that the career opportunities for people who have a

graduation

Replace the word

graduate

show examples

degree are higher than others.

For example

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, applicants with suitable qualifications can seek a job and have a high income with nearly no difficulties. Another reason is that the grade owner may be hunted by a lot of companies.

This

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can explain why intensity holders have deep knowledge and necessary skills for the position for which they are applying. In conclusion,

while

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it is irrefutable that involving in the workforce before graduating from high academy brings benefits, I would contend that joining colleges or universities is better.

lyhuongclcThu Oct 17 2024

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Task Achievement

Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly reflect both views and your opinion more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence. Consider using linking words more effectively.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples in your arguments to strengthen your points; rather than stating benefits, illustrating with real-life scenarios can enhance your argument.

Task Achievement

You have successfully introduced the topic and your viewpoint, which sets a clear direction for the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a good attempt to present both sides of the argument, showcasing your ability to discuss multiple perspectives.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people think technological devices such as smartphones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level? What could individuals do to help?

Services such as shops, schools and commercial centres should be relocated out of the city center. To what extent do you agree?

Governments should not have to provide care or financial support for elderly people because it is the responsibility of each person to prepare for retirement and support him or herself. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?