The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree with this idea?

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There is no denying the fact that stricter punishments are important to improve
safety
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on the roads.
While
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it is commonly held belief that the only way to enhance
road
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safety
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is to impose much harsher penalties for driving
offenses
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offences
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, there is
also
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an
aegument
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argument
that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that stricter punishments have certainly improved the
safety
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of the roads.
To begin
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with, harsher penalties for driving
offenses
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offences
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have increased the enhancement of
road
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safety
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.
In other words
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, Stricter penalties are the only thing that forces drivers to comply with the laws.
In addition
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,
reinforcing
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reinforces
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the importance of safe driving.
For example
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, educational programs about
road
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safety
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could be introduced to raise awareness and understanding of traffic laws. Another point to consider, improving infrastructure is the main reason to enhance
road
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safety
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. It is
also
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possible to say that in terms of sidewalks, pedestrian crossings, and traffic lights.
Moreover
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, providing better public transportation options.
For instance
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, trains and buses. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that stricter punishments are
Correct article usage
a crothel
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crothel
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brothel
thing to improve the
safety
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on
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of
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the roads.

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task achievement
Make sure to support your arguments with clear reasoning and examples. Some key points were not developed fully, such as the argument for educational programs. Expanding on these points would strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that points are logically linked. This can be achieved by using clearer topic sentences and transition words.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to clarity and conciseness in your writing. There were some grammatical and spelling mistakes, like "aegument" and "crothel," which can distract the reader. Proofreading can help catch these errors before submission.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue, which helps guide your argument throughout the essay. Your opinion is stated clearly in the introduction and conclusion, which is essential for maintaining focus.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • driving offenses
  • road safety
  • deterrent
  • reckless driving
  • educational programs
  • law enforcement
  • consequences
  • infrastructure
  • public transportation
  • vehicle safety standards
  • substance abuse
  • traffic laws
  • dangerous driving habits
  • long-term effectiveness
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