IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that history has little to teach us about today while others think that the study of the past helps us to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, people have opinions about learning
history
Use synonyms
.
While
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 some people will see
history
Use synonyms
 as important to teach our lives, others argue that it isn't impactful for them. For me, as a human, learning things from the past has big advantages, and the effect is huge. Nowadays, there are several things that we should know about
history
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, learning past activities will give us views about future predictions, and we can imply things that should be done for the purpose of the common good, both in negative and positive ways.
For instance
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, the development of cars has grown fast. It started using electrical as the main power source and developed using fuel. As we know, fuel releases a lot of carbon, which causes bad results for humans. Nowadays, car developers are trying to go back to electricity, with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 body shape
looks
Correct pronoun usage
that looks
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 like fuel cars.
Furthermore
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, learning about past accidents will expand our views on which item we should focus more on. Several actions happened
due to
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 the bad implementation of what was planned. It is better to change and develop it into better action.
For example
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, the government planned to expand car usage in the past. Because the population increased exponentially,
whereas
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 the city area didn't expand, they changed their plan to spread the bus and reach any areas.
On the other hand
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, learning
history
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 will be seen as something unnecessary and important. Not all
history
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 is still ongoing. As an example, we can see that no one was using the laptop. But because of technological development, nowadays all people should be having it. We should prepare what
will
Verb problem
apply
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we
learn
Wrong verb form
have learned
show examples
 in the past. In conclusion, learning
history
Use synonyms
 is important for improving our lives in the future, and I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion

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Task Achievement
Your introduction presents the topic well, but consider rephrasing and tightening your thesis statement to clearly state your stance upfront and preview the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to strengthen your logical structure and guide the reader through your ideas.
Task Achievement
Work on providing more specific examples related to your points to make them more compelling and to show a deeper engagement with the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs are balanced in length and content to maintain coherence and cohesion, avoiding long, convoluted sentences that may confuse the reader.
Task Achievement
You present a clear opinion in the conclusion, effectively reinforcing your stance on the importance of learning history.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied and you have attempted to use complex sentences, which shows a good level of language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable lessons
  • insights
  • root causes
  • current problems
  • past mistakes
  • repeating
  • generations
  • informed decisions
  • irrelevant
  • unique
  • contemporary solutions
  • technological advancements
  • thorough understanding
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