IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruit and vegetable to some countries where are such plants hardly grow or out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, some are not. Discuss both view and give your oppinion.

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There is no denying the fact that aircraft have become
a
Change the article
apply
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crucial to transport things around the world.
While
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 it is a commonly held
believe
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belief
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 that transporting fruits and vegetables to
countries
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 where these plants do not grow well or out
the
Change preposition
of the
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 season, There is
also
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 an argument that some
people
Use synonyms
 think it is a bad idea.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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 believe that transporting vegetables and fruits by air allows consumers to enjoy a
vairiety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of fresh produce, that may not be available in their own
countries
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due to
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 climate or seasonal
limitation
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limitations
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.
In other words
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, because that climate is cold some
countries
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 receive tropical fruits, like
apple
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apples
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 and
orange
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oranges
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, which are typically not grown there.
In addition
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,
this
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 helps improve the quality of life for
people
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, as they can enjoy
wider
Add an article
a wider
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 range of
foods
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.
for example
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,
countries
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 like Sudan
sent
Wrong verb form
send
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 various types of
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 to Yemen, Japan, and Saudi Arabia.
On The other hand
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, some individuals consider that using aircraft for transporting things,
increase
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increases
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 pollution and green gases, which can
affects
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affect
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on
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apply
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environmental health. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say That, the demand for fresh
foods
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 is high, and the positive aspects of providing nutritious
Food
Fix capitalization
food
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 to
people
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outwiegh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
 the environmental impact.
Moreover
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, development in machines and technology may reduce the negative effect on air transport in the future. In conclusion, There are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that I think transporting
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foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 by aircraft is a good idea because
it's providing
Wrong verb form
it provides
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 clients
a
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with a
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winder
Correct your spelling
wider
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 selection of fresh food and helps ensure the quality of it.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it more explicitly. You might want to state your opinion in a more straightforward way.
coherence
Make sure you provide a clear distinction between the two points of view in separate paragraphs to maintain clarity.
coherence
Check for minor grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'the fact that aircraft have become a crucial' should be 'a crucial means of transportation'). This will improve clarity and overall quality.
task achievement
Consider expanding your examples and explanations for greater depth. For example, elaborate more on how air transport benefits the economy or food security.
coherence
Improve transition phrases from one idea to another to enhance flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
You clearly presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for a discussion essay, showing good understanding of the task.
task achievement
Your attempt to analyze the environmental impact versus the benefits of air transport shows critical thinking, which is impressive.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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