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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the number of tourists who visited five different countries between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line diagram represents the number of foreigners visiting 5 countries from 1995 to 2010. In the big picture, it is conspicuous that international tourists have increased for 15 years. Turning to the top three visitors, The United States had the most significant number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international arrivals compared to other countries, starting from 70 and growing slowly to 80.
Likewise
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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steady growth
of
Change preposition
in
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 Malaysia which had
at
Change preposition
apply
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just above 20 in 1995 and increased to 40 in the 15 years after.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant increase happened in France which had 30 individuals in the beginning period,
then
Linking Words
skyrocketing
Wrong verb form
skyrocketed
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 and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
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 a peak as same
as
Change preposition
to
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 the United States
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 had 80 comers . Moving
the
Change preposition
to the
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last
Linking Words
 categories, both Brazil and Egypt reported the same number
as
Change preposition
of
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 abroad people coming to their countries.
However
Linking Words
, in the observed time, Egypt rose higher than Brazil by just below 10%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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