IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that planning for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As the world continues to flourish in many aspects of
life
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such
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 as technology,
time
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 has become a more valuable resource for humans. To gain a good position
people
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 have to not only compete with each other but
also
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 with increasing usage of artificial intelligence.
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However
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However,
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 the quality of
life
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 depends on many other factors
besides
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 work.
Thus
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 an issue arises: how to manage your
time
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 correctly to live fully? Some
people
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 choose to live in the moment and accept their future when it comes, others are more content when they take care of things ahead of
time
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. So what is the right way?
Firstly
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, planning the future makes us feel more secure. Mapping out our
life
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 makes the present stress-free and the choices more clear. Many
people
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 who think that way tend to stay more consistent and patient in
office
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the office
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 and more productive
on
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in
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 their leisure
time
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.
Linking Words
However
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However,
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this
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 viewpoint has a negative side. There is a thin line between good
time
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managing
Replace the word
management
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 and being a workaholic. In some
cases
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cases,
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 too many plans can make a person too overwhelmed. In brief,
time
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-managing is a way to take control of the opportunities in
life
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, but it is dangerous to fall into anxiety. On the opposite side, it is essential for
people
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 to lay off a bit and enjoy the present as it is difficult to keep up
to
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with
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 everything
that is
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 happening. In
this
Linking Words
 fast world every second matters
therefore
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 it is easy to lose sense of meaning. After all, you can’t get those moments back. In our
time
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 rarely are
people
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 fully aware of the present,
hence
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, they disconnect from reality.
In contrast
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, practising mindfulness and engaging in hobbies or social activities enchants
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of meaning.
To sum up
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, planning for the future and living in the moment can totally go hand-in-hand, but it is important to maintain the balance.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or personal anecdotes to support your arguments. This would help strengthen your points and make them more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
While your ideas flow logically, transitioning between paragraphs can be improved for smoother reading. Try to use linking phrases to guide the reader through your thoughts.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your stance in the introduction and perhaps summarize it more explicitly in the conclusion to reinforce your position.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is a strong aspect of your writing.
task achievement
You effectively raise important points about the significance of time management and living in the moment, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • unexpected expenses
  • career advancement
  • long-term goals
  • structured approach
  • personal development
  • educational goals
  • fulfilling life
  • spontaneous experiences
  • emotional fulfillment
  • embrace opportunities
  • mental health
  • reduce stress and anxiety
  • mindfulness
  • balanced approach
  • flexibility and adaptation
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