Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modern era, competition becomes a general activity to stimulate adrenaline to make achievements. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe competition among

children

Use synonyms

should be encouraged, and some

people

Use synonyms

believe teaching

children

Use synonyms

to collaborate as a team is more convenient.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both points of view.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some parents suggest their

children

Use synonyms

to have a mentality as a winner. Competition drives

children

Use synonyms

to be more challenging in their lives.

Children

Use synonyms

can create the ability to encourage their limits to be successful.

This

Linking Words

method

Use synonyms

brings benefits for

children

Use synonyms

to push themselves to give excellent output from them.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

will give their best to achieve the best result. They

also

Linking Words

can learn how to be more disciplined in every aspect of life.

However

Linking Words

, sometimes

children

Use synonyms

who are taught

this

Linking Words

method

Use synonyms

have a lack of empathy and sympathy. They tend to focus on their lives because they are busy making achievements.

On the other hand

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who can work as a team can be more collaborative with other

people

Use synonyms

. They can work together and be more helpful.

Furthermore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who can cooperate can build empathy and sympathy.

This

Linking Words

method

Use synonyms

will help them to increase sensitivity for other

people

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who are taught by

this

Linking Words

method

Use synonyms

will be encouraged to be more useful in social life. In conclusion, both methods have a good intention to teach

children

Use synonyms

. It depends on parents what kind of characteristics of

children

Use synonyms

they want to build. As long as the

method

Use synonyms

has the same values as the parent's mission.

rianajoongThu Mar 13 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

improvement

Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and outlines the main points. However, consider refining your thesis statement to better reflect the complexity of both views and your own opinion.

improvement

In your body paragraphs, while you address both perspectives, aim to balance the discussion more evenly and link your points more clearly to illustrate the contrasts between competition and cooperation.

improvement

In the conclusion, reinforce your stance more strongly to provide a clearer takeaway for the reader. Consider summarizing the key points that led you to your final opinion.

strength

You successfully identify key points for both competition and cooperation, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

strength

Your writing maintains a formal tone appropriate for an academic essay, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You Are Planning To Spend A Weekend At A Hotel With Your Family. Write A Letter To The Hotel Making The Arrangements. Include The Following: – When You Want To Arrive And Leave – Explain The Type Of Rooms You Would Like And Ask How Much They Will Cost – Ask About Activities And Places Of Interest Near The Hotel
I am writing to arrange our family’s upcoming visit to your hotel, as well as to ask for some additional information.
6
band
Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.
In recent decades, many researchers have studied the importance of group-level cognition. Indeed, to my mind, there is now convincing evidence that group activities improve the intelligence of individuals. In this essay, I shall examine how research in team-games and study-groups supports this view.
9
band
Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion
In recent years, climatic change has been a subject of ongoing debate, with a number of individuals believing that it has harmful effects on business, while others advocate for its potential benefits. From my perspective, global warming can be beneficial for manufacturers who can seize the chance.
7
band
Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is becoming more and more common these days for people to participate in extreme sports. While there are some humanity who believe that everyone should have the right to take part in such sports, I believe that the government should ban these dangerous activities.
6.5
band
A growing number of people rely or restaurants and convenience food (Frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?
Food is one of the most basic needs for humans to live a better life. Despite that, recently, many individuals have been eating from restaurants or packed food instead of preparing food at home. There are several merits such as it saves a lot of time spent on meal preps along with the demerits like it is an inadequate source of essential minerals, vitamins, and proteins. Both advantages and disadvantages are further explained in the letter.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

Some think that climate change reforms will negatively affect business. Others feel they are an opportunity for businesses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Governments should ban dangerous sports. Others think that people should have the freedom to do any sport activity. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A growing number of people rely or restaurants and convenience food (Frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?