Nowadays a lot of children spend their time on the internet and phones do you think it is a negative or a positive trend

In
this
contemporary epoch, the advancement of technology and the internet has changed the way of life, especially for kids. The time of many juveniles is excessively taken by smartphones, and the majority of them are overloaded with numerous social media platforms. I believe that
this
phenomenon has a detrimental effect on joiners' behaviours because it affects their relationship with their surroundings and influences their health erroneously. In the following lines, the justification for my claim will be
further
discussed.
To begin
with, cutting-edge electronic devices isolate children from their peers, and affect their academic performance detrimentally.
In other words
, when youths spend the whole day glued to their screens, they will not find time to socialize with others and gain interpersonal and communication skills.
Additionally
, their education progress could collapse because
instead
of studying hard and following the school curriculum, they spend most of their time playing video games and scrolling websites.
For example
, an article conducted by New York Times magazine revealed that most teenagers prefer to be alone on their gadgets rather than associate with others. What can be said is that these devices have a negative impact on adolescents' personal and educational lives.
Furthermore
, despite all the benefits and facilities that these appliances have given to individuals, their effect might be deleterious on children’s mental and physical health. To illustrate, if juveniles spend their day on personal phones,
this
will prevent them from doing outdoor activities, and the content of these devices could affect their psychological well-being badly.
For example
, PUBG, which is a well-known video game, has changed the psychology of many Youngs and made violence more acceptable.
Thus
,
this
technology not only makes them more unhealthy individuals, but it will spread violence as well. In conclusion. After the essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that smartphones could have harmful consequences on kids' minds and actions. I am of the belief that the merits of these machines outweigh the demerits.
Submitted by Fatimah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to add more specific and varied examples to strengthen your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between your paragraphs and maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay, and the conclusion effectively reiterates your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with clear main points and supporting details in each paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: