In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, many rural people have travelled to live in
cities
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, and the
population
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in the suburbs, towns and villages has significantly decreased. From my point of view,
this
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phenomenon has more negative impacts on civilization and development than benefits. On the one side, when rural residents move to
cities
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it causes many problems
such
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as increasing
population
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density
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in
cities
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, which leads to increased garbage that cannot be managed by the government. To illustrate
this
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, New York City’s
population
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density
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is around 20 million residents, and
also
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it has the highest rate of rubbish pollution in streets around the whole city,
according to
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that the authorities cannot manage
this
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large number of rubbish every day. On the other side, overpopulation in
cities
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has a negative effect on the labour market. People move to
cities
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because they want a good chance of getting jobs and facilities which are overcrowded lead to unemployment and could lead to serious problems in the future.
For instance
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, Delhi, the capital city of India has the largest unemployment rate reaching 90%
due to
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population
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density
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Indian people recently suffered from poverty and famine. In conclusion, the majority of rural residents are moving to
cities
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which leads to the
population
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in rural areas dropping dramatically.
However
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, from my perspective that has the downside risks because urban
population
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density
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causes serious problems
such
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as pollution and unemployment,
thus
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the collapse of civilization.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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task achievement
Make sure to address both positive and negative aspects to provide a balanced view, even if you take a specific stance in conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported with detailed explanations. While you have given examples, some points can be elaborated further.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow by using clear linking words and avoiding abrupt transitions that might disrupt the flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay uses specific examples, such as New York City's population density and Delhi's unemployment rate, to support the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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