Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the contemporary world, more and more
people
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are interested in a variety of
places
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for entertainment. There are several reasons why
people
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go to
museums
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for relaxing.
However
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, it would be appropriate if the government built more enjoyable
places
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and internet magazines. On the one hand, more
museums
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should be enjoyable
places
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than other zoos, parks and something like that.Even the most famous
people
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choose
museums
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because it has historical things.
Moreover
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, students visit
museums
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of universities and something like that. Especially more
people
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go to Ulugbekʼs observatory,
furthermore
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, ministers and white-collar visiting
this
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observatory. There are many amazing
places
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that we can see we might see sculpture culture, historical ancestors' pictures and ancient houses.
For example
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, every year I go to Imom At-Termizi
museums
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when I go there I buy pottery things for Mum.
On the other hand
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, more
people
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think that the purpose of
museums
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is to educate . Really there are ancient things and a 100-year historical space.
However
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, most students learn ancient history, ancestorʼs traditions and primitive cultures. Nowadays most
people
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visit another world in which they are learning about cultures. Scientists discovering new
places
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to build historical
museums
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.
However
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, the government attract the
museums
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. Public
people
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distinguish many historical
places
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. Most
people
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say " There is no life without history".
Moreover
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, we learn history and cultures. In conclusion, more
museums
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can offer entertainment and education. I think the purpose of
museums
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is to educate. The Government build more variety of
places
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for entertainment, fun and enjoyment.
Museums
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should be educational rather than entertaining.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure clear distinguishing of views in the introduction. You may consider revising some sentences for smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your overall points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy to improve clarity of your writing. Minor errors can affect comprehension.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion at the end of your essay, which helps to solidify your perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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