IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaur, dodos…) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.

Some people believe that the extinction of
species
Use synonyms
 is a natural part of the evolutionary process , similar to what happened with ancient
species
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they argue that there was no need for humans to intervene. I partially disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view and will present my reasons in the following essay. It is true that millions of years ago, many ancient
species
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as dinosaurs, were wiped out
due to
Linking Words
 a gradual shift in climate and changing sea levels,
according to
Linking Words
 some hypotheses.
However
Linking Words
, these environmental factors are not the primary contributors to the disappearance of certain
species
Use synonyms
 nowadays. At
this
Linking Words
 time, many
animals
Use synonyms
 lose their biodiversity because of human activity
such
Linking Words
 as deforestation and pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an increase in the cultivation of palm trees , which reduces trees in Indonesia, home to
animals
Use synonyms
 , especially the orangutan. These activities disturb the food chain and disrupt the natural habitats of wildlife which endangering
animals
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, humans are held accountable and should do what is needed to rectify the situation. Other justifications for saving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 involve the significant roles that they play in not only the balance of the ecosystem but
also
Linking Words
 in scientific and economic value.
Animals
Use synonyms
 provide medical or scientific breakthroughs and support local economies.
For instance
Linking Words
, there were various
species
Use synonyms
 in Africa, which made the popular safaris among all countries. It can engage wildlife tourism , which can boost the country’s economy. In conclusion, the disappearance of many animal
species
Use synonyms
 is not always
causedby
Correct your spelling
caused by
 a natural process but
as a consequence
Linking Words
 of our actions. It is our obligation to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem and preserve wild
animals
Use synonyms
 because their extinction will have a severe influence on many important aspects of our lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state all your ideas in the main points.
coherence
Try to link your ideas more smoothly and use more connectives.
task achievement
You have clear reasons for your opinion, showing good understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: