Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motor-bike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Ensuring avenue freedom is a pressing global concern, and some contend that imposing harsher penalties on driving offences is the most effective solution.
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I acknowledge that stringent punishments can deter dangerous driving behaviours, I firmly believe that a holistic approach encompassing education, base enhancements, and technological advancements is paramount for achieving sustainable artery
safety
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improvements. Undoubtedly, stricter penalties can act as a powerful deterrent. When drivers face severe consequences —
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as hefty fines, prolonged license suspensions, or imprisonment — they are more likely to reconsider engaging in reckless behaviours like speeding, driving under the influence, or distracted driving. Countries with rigorous freight laws,
such
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as Sweden and the Netherlands, exemplify
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approach’s success, boasting significantly lower
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fatality rates.
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demonstrates that fear of punishment can effectively regulate driver behaviour.
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, punitive measures alone are insufficient. Many
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incidents stem not only from deliberate misconduct but
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from ignorance, inexperience, or external factors like poor
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design.
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, comprehensive driver education is indispensable. By fostering a deep understanding of traffic rules, defensive driving techniques, and the severe consequences of negligence, educational programs can instil responsible habits that endure beyond the fear of punishment.
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, infrastructure plays a pivotal role in ensuring
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safety
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. Well-maintained roads, clearly visible signage, dedicated cycling lanes, and pedestrian-friendly crossings can drastically reduce accidents. Investments in smart infrastructure —
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as adaptive traffic lights, speed-regulating bumps, and highway surveillance systems —
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minimize the likelihood of collisions by proactively managing traffic flow and identifying high-risk
behavior
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behaviour
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. Equally important is the integration of technology into vehicles. Innovations like autonomous emergency braking, lane departure warnings, and fatigue detection systems can prevent human error, which remains the leading cause of
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accidents. Governments should incentivize the adoption of
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features, making them standard across all vehicle classes. In conclusion,
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stricter punishments are undeniably effective in discouraging reckless driving, they represent only one facet of a multifaceted solution. A balanced strategy that incorporates education, infrastructure advancements, and cutting-edge technology is essential to fostering a culture of responsible driving and ensuring enduring improvements in
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safety
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.
This
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comprehensive approach offers a more sustainable path to safeguarding all course users, ultimately creating a safer, more resilient transportation system.

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task achievement
Consider clarifying the central claim in the introduction to ensure it directly addresses the topic of increasing the minimum legal age for driving. This will strengthen the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on a single main idea, which will improve the clarity of arguments presented.
task achievement
While you provided excellent examples, consider aligning them more closely to the argument about age limits to ensure they directly support the main points regarding road safety measures.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured argument with clear, logical organization and ample development of ideas, which enhances the overall coherence.
task achievement
Your use of sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures demonstrates a strong command of the English language, contributing positively to your score.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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