IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

" Discuss the role of lifestyle choices in maintaining overall health. Consider factors such as diet, exercise, and stress management. How can individuals make informed choices to promote their well-being?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.

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"An apple in a day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 keeps a doctor away". Indeed, to achieve
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
health
Use synonyms
 of an individual, one should consider
to adopt
Change the verb form
adopting
show examples
 healthy and active
lifestyle
Use synonyms
choices
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 adoption of dietary
choices
Use synonyms
,
implication
Add an article
the implication
show examples
 of various forms of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 and stress management interventions
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
show examples
 be helpful in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 try to incorporate healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 in different ways
however
Linking Words
, misguided theories and advertisements negatively influence their conscious decisions. So, to guide them, the government or healthcare providers might help to make
well informed
Add a hyphen
well-informed
show examples
choices
Use synonyms
 of active routine.
Thus
Linking Words
, they will improve quality of life.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a few dietary changes and
Correct article usage
the adoptation
show examples
adoptation
Correct your spelling
adoption
 of any form of exercise can make one's body and mind healthy. A healthy diet
such
Linking Words
 as taking
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 nutrients will prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
malnutrition and other deficiencies related to unhealthy food
habits
Use synonyms
. Exercises
such
Linking Words
 as Yoga,
aerobics
Correct word choice
and aerobics
show examples
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 flexibility
of
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to
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 joints and make
body
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the body
a body
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 move despite
of
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apply
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, today
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hectic
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
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 and unhealthy
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 stress which can be dealt with
Change preposition
by adapting
show examples
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
show examples
 meditation or
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
sleep
Correct article usage
a sleep
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 cycle for stress relief. These all considerations contribute to developing healthy well-being and provide longer living years to an individual.
For instance
Linking Words
, research shows that to prevent advanced diseases
such
Linking Words
 as cancer,
diabetes
Correct word choice
and diabetes
show examples
;
people
Use synonyms
 should opt for healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 in their daily active life. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 becoming more aware of various
health
Use synonyms
 programs and products related to
health
Use synonyms
. They try to make
an efficient
Correct the article-noun agreement
efficient choices
an efficient choice
show examples
choices
Use synonyms
 to live longer
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
healthy terms but,
due to
Linking Words
 misguided theories or
advertisements
Add a comma
advertisements,
show examples
 they get easily distant
to make
Change preposition
from making
show examples
 mindful decisions. To guide them in a positive manner, the government can arrange
campaign
Add an article
a campaign
show examples
 to spread awareness of
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of having healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
 professionals might influence their patients to make conscious efforts to inculcate active
lifestyle
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 in order to get
health
Use synonyms
 benefits and improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life to live longer years.
For example
Linking Words
,
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 government currently organizes several
Use synonyms
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 seminars in different cities to spread awareness of
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
habits
Use synonyms
 to reverse
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
degenerative and advanced diseases
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 having multiple
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 to influence
people
Use synonyms
's decisions, one should be careful
while
Linking Words
 making
choices
Use synonyms
 of an active routine with the help of proper guidance through
self awareness
Add a hyphen
self-awareness
show examples
 or consider
to follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
 a
health
Use synonyms
 professional's
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 to make correct healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
choices
Use synonyms
 to achieve
overall
Linking Words
 well-being.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea.
task achievement
Be more precise in your language; some phrases were slightly awkward or unclear.
task achievement
Include a stronger connection between your examples and the main arguments you are making.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic comprehensively and discusses several lifestyle choices relevant to health.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the mention of the Indian government's health seminars and the importance of exercise and diet.
coherence and cohesion
Overall structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overall health
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Balanced diet
  • Nutrition
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Stress management
  • Aerobic
  • Strength training
  • Flexibility exercises
  • Well-being
  • Preventative care
  • Chronic diseases
  • Healthcare professionals
  • Mindfulness
  • Resilience
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Time management
  • Informed choices
  • Health promotion
  • Disease prevention
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Health consciousness
  • Healthy habits
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