IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and message should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The
possibilty
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of intelligent
life
Use synonyms
 on other planets has intrigued scientists for decades.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 curiosity , several researchers suggest that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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humans should send
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
 to connect with them,as
this
Linking Words
 could result in remarkable discoveries.
While
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 others contend it, by saying that it can put mankind at the potential
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
.I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
perspective
 before presenting my opinion.
Propenents
Correct your spelling
Proponents
 of
intersteller
Correct your spelling
interstellar
 communication argue that
,
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apply
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 contacting
extraterrestrail
Correct your spelling
extraterrestrial
extraterrestrials
 beings could greatly expand human knowledge. It could help us to understand
principles
Correct article usage
the principles
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 of advanced
technology
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, space travel and science which can turn
in
Change preposition
into
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 human benefits.
For example
Linking Words
, if the researchers get connected to advanced aliens ,
Correct word choice
and
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shared
Wrong verb form
share
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their
technology
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 and medical science
this
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 could
be revolutionize
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revolutionize
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 human progress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, contacting
life
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 on other planets might answer the fundamental questions about the origins of
life
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 and the universe ,
this
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 could lead to reshaping
understanding
Correct pronoun usage
our understanding
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 of human existence.
On the other hand
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 , opponents contend that
,
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apply
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 communication with alien
civilization
Fix the agreement mistake
civilizations
show examples
 could
poses
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pose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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potential risks to the
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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.If we
contacted
Add a missing verb
are contacted
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 by
advanced
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an advanced
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civilization
Fix the agreement mistake
civilizations
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, they
migh
Correct your spelling
might
 be not
benevalent
Correct your spelling
benevolent
, and having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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advanced and
superiors
Change the noun form
superior
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technology
Use synonyms
 could lead them to dominate us .History already has shown that, whenever there
is
Verb problem
apply
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an encounters between civilizations on the
earth
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 it
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to devasting and brutal consequences. I personally believe that,
although
Linking Words
 scientific inventions and discoveries make human
life
Use synonyms
 a lot easier and much more comfortable,it does not mean that they can take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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 on human
life
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
.Even if there is a minimal chance of fatal results by contacting them , the idea of communication with
extratrerrstrial
Correct your spelling
extraterrestrial
 beings should be dropped . In conclusion,
While
Linking Words
 the idea of sending
message
Add an article
a message
show examples
 to
life
Use synonyms
 on other plants is fascinating ,
such
Linking Words
 exitments should not come at the expense of existing
life
Use synonyms
 on the
earth
Use synonyms
 .Doubtfully, there might be a chance of human progress by taking support of the advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 from
aleins
Correct your spelling
aliens
, but the threat of being vanished or devasting should not be overlooked.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure all arguments are clearly and logically structured. Use connectives to guide the reader through the discussion.
task achievement
Some points would benefit from further development and clarity, especially regarding potential benefits and risks.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your introduction and conclusion to ensure they solidly frame your arguments and opinions.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints on the topic.
task achievement
Interesting examples related to the potential benefits of contacting extraterrestrial life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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