IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Some companies in a few nations allow
employees
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 to
work
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 from
home
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,
while
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 in other countries,
employees
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 still prefer to
work
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 in an
office
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views.
However
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, as far as I am concerned, I am in
favor
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favour
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 of the latter notion. To commence with the first view, the primary advantage of working from
home
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 is efficient time management.
In other words
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, when
individuals
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work
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 remotely, they have sufficient time to complete their tasks, which enables them to manage their
work
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 and household responsibilities wisely.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the World Health Organization (WHO) in 2019 revealed that during the coronavirus pandemic, when the public was restricted from
traveling
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travelling
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,
employees
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 were able to complete their professional tasks
while
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also
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 taking care of their family members.
As a result
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, working from
home
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 allows
individuals
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 to save time and reduce commuting expenses. Shifting towards the second view, the predominant benefit of working from an
office
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 is increased productivity. To elaborate, when
individuals
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work
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 in an
office
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 environment, they engage in proper planning, efficiently schedule their tasks, and actively participate in meetings, which enhances their
work
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 efficiency.
For example
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, an article published by the well-known newspaper USA Today in 2017 reported that in America,
employees
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 who were given the option to
work
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 either from
home
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 or the
office
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 and chose the latter received early promotions
due to
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 their more focused approach to
work
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.
Therefore
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, working in an
office
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 helps
individuals
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 advance in their careers and achieve their desired professional positions more easily. In conclusion,
although
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 working from
home
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 allows people to balance their professional and personal responsibilities, I firmly believe that
employees
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 who
work
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 in an
office
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 are more likely to perform at their best without distractions, leading to greater productivity and career growth.

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task response
Your introduction clearly lays out the topic and your opinion, which is a strong start. However, you could enhance it by briefly mentioning the advantages of both working environments to provide a more rounded introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The transition between paragraphs is smooth, helping the reader follow your argument. To further improve coherence, consider including linking phrases that tie your points together more explicitly.
task response
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments effectively. Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on a single main idea to strengthen your argument further.
task response
Your use of specific examples, such as the survey from WHO and the article from USA Today, adds credibility to your argument and demonstrates thorough research.
coherence and cohesion
You have a well-defined structure with distinct paragraphs for each view, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.
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