IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

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With the increasing popularity of museums and art galleries, whether they should be free of charge or not has drawn much discussion amongst the general public. Personally, I am inclined to the view that the merits of charging for entry outweigh the drawbacks. One of the cogent reasons for charging fees is that the building and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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maintenance
costs
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 of major museums and art galleries are tremendous. Undoubtedly,
by
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apply
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charging a reasonable entry fee,
it
Correct pronoun usage
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can help cover the cost incurred
as a result
Linking Words
 of day-to-day activities
such
Linking Words
 as utility bills, maintenance
costs
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, renovation, and staff
costs
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. If these
costs
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 were not covered the state of the facilities would deteriorate and be less attractive. An additional benefit of entrance fees is that they allow these places to expand quicker and they can buy in more exhibits to attract more people. The facilities will
also
Linking Words
 be able to hire famous international artefacts and artworks; thereby enabling them to provide variety so that they can attract greater patronage.
Consequently
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, charging an admission fee seems very utilitarian
to
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for
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 creating better museums and galleries.
However
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, there are downsides associated with admission fees, one of which is that it may preclude some members of the community from entering the facilities.
This
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 is particularly the case if poor members of society are unable to afford to visit these places. It seems a great pity if children and economically disadvantaged people are unable to benefit from the cultural experiences these venues provide. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of an entry fee, in terms of funding maintenance and expansion prevail over the downsides
such
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 as limited access for the poor.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, such as specific museums or programs that have benefited from admission fees.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop the points made in the disadvantages section further to thoroughly address opposing views and demonstrate a balanced argument.
task achievement
Clear stance and well-defined argument supporting your viewpoint on admission fees.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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