Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Smartphones

Use synonyms

play

Change the article

show examples

significant tool nowadays with plenty of convenient features they bring to our lives.

This

Linking Words

results in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

phenomenon that

children

Use synonyms

spend several hours on their

Use synonyms

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

daily. In my opinion, it is

relatively

Add an article

a relatively

show examples

negative development for the

children

Use synonyms

's growth.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the benefits and disadvantages

about

Change preposition

show examples

the development. Getting familiar with

smartphones

Use synonyms

earlier serves as a quick path to broaden the horizons brought by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smartphones

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, my little brother who is at the age of 13 uses

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

to meet friends from different countries through the social media application.

Also

Linking Words

, he downloaded applications

such

Linking Words

as Coursera on his phone to study any subjects he finds intriguing on the way to the school. The

smartphone

Use synonyms

helps him to build

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with foreigners easily and provides him the plentiful opportunities to learn on the online platform whenever it is and wherever he is as long as he has the

smartphone

Use synonyms

with him.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the risk of overusing

smartphones

Use synonyms

requires to be taken into consideration. If

children

Use synonyms

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

too much time on

smartphones

Use synonyms

, they might lose

the

Change the word

their

show examples

connection with the real world. There is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

news in recent years

Correct pronoun usage

that reported

show examples

reported

Verb problem

apply

show examples

whole-new

Correct your spelling

whole new

show examples

term " brain rot " to illustrate the phenomenon that people scrolling their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

without intention. It could

also

Linking Words

be applied to

children

Use synonyms

's use of

Use synonyms

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

because they get immersed

with

Change preposition

show examples

short clips and booming information with visual attention on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media. With more time on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

smartphones

Use synonyms

, they have less time or motivation to build new

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

with the real world. In conclusion, using

smartphones

Use synonyms

for educational

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

or building relationships brings opportunities to explore the world.

However

Linking Words

, if there is no intentional use of

this

Linking Words

convenient gadget, it will cause serious

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

we have to face.

fangyu199909Sat Mar 15 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position. For example, you could simply state, 'I believe that the impact of smartphones on children is mostly negative.'

coherence and cohesion

Try to enhance the connection between your ideas. Use linking phrases to clarify the relationships between your points. For instance, use words like 'however' or 'in addition' more frequently.

coherence and cohesion

Be cautious about minor grammatical errors, such as 'an significant tool' which should be 'a significant tool'. Grammatical accuracy contributes to the overall clarity of your writing.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples from your personal experience, which adds depth to your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay presents a clear argument structure with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Gaming is argued to have a bad influence on young children but some people think that it could have a positive effect on them as well. Which view do you agree with? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

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