‏Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

many
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

argue that it is difficult to prevent
criminals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from illegal activities because they are anti-social,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

measures as education and penalties can contribute to a reduced number of
crimes
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I strongly agree with the second opinion because no humans are born with violent characters and
desire
Correct article usage
a desire

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to harm others. On the one hand, instructions and fines in prisons can decrease cases of breaking the
law
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. After being caught,
criminals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be sentenced and imprisoned for a long time, during which they can be taught what they have done wrong and how their actions have bothered others. In recognition of their mistakes, they might not repeat harmful destructions to society and even educate their relatives to follow the
law
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, courts can increase their level of
punishments
Fix the agreement mistake
punishment

It seems that punishments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to threaten other
criminals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, British
law
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

enforcers used weapons to punish thieves and sentenced serial killers to death, which
had
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb had appears to be unnecessary here.

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effectively
dereased
Correct your spelling
decreased
decrease

If you don’t want dereased to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the number of serious
crimes
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

argue that humans act illegally
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their complex feelings that cannot be understood and cured.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
criminals
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

just do things that they want and never care about the consequences. Even
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training

It appears that trainings is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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in jail or death penalties cannot manage to change their anti-social behaviours.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, educating
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

since they were
at
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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young age can help prevent them from growing up violent because children do not do bad things instinctively.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Singapore has one of the best education in the world, so most children are brought up helpful and kind, which leads to a low level of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime

It seems that crimes may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In conclusion, it is never impossible to eliminate
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

law breakers
Correct your spelling
lawbreakers

The word law breakers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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by instructing their illegal actions and threatening serious
crimes
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with fines. Irrespective of difficulties in changing
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's behaviours, teaching them as kids to follow regulations does create a positive impact.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the flow and guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
In the conclusion, summarize the main points more clearly and restate your opinion to reinforce your position on the topic.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of transitional phrases helps maintain the flow of ideas, making your essay easier to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevent crime
  • crime prevention
  • deter potential offenders
  • law enforcement
  • rehabilitation
  • root causes of crime
  • penalties
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community-based initiatives
  • surveillance
  • integration
  • globalization
  • youth engagement activities
  • current prevention strategies
  • post-crime interventions
  • social programs
  • sophisticated crime
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