‏Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While

Linking Words

many

people

Use synonyms

argue that it is difficult to prevent

criminals

Use synonyms

from illegal activities because they are anti-social,

such

Linking Words

measures as education and penalties can contribute to a reduced number of

crimes

Use synonyms

. I strongly agree with the second opinion because no humans are born with violent characters and

desire

Correct article usage

a desire

show examples

to harm others. On the one hand, instructions and fines in prisons can decrease cases of breaking the

law

Use synonyms

. After being caught,

criminals

Use synonyms

will be sentenced and imprisoned for a long time, during which they can be taught what they have done wrong and how their actions have bothered others. In recognition of their mistakes, they might not repeat harmful destructions to society and even educate their relatives to follow the

law

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, courts can increase their level of

punishments

Fix the agreement mistake

punishment

show examples

to threaten other

criminals

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, British

law

Use synonyms

enforcers used weapons to punish thieves and sentenced serial killers to death, which

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

effectively

dereased

Correct your spelling

decreased

decrease

the number of serious

crimes

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

argue that humans act illegally

due to

Linking Words

their complex feelings that cannot be understood and cured.

In other words

Linking Words

, some

criminals

Use synonyms

just do things that they want and never care about the consequences. Even

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

in jail or death penalties cannot manage to change their anti-social behaviours.

However

Linking Words

, educating

people

Use synonyms

since they were

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young age can help prevent them from growing up violent because children do not do bad things instinctively.

For instance

Linking Words

, Singapore has one of the best education in the world, so most children are brought up helpful and kind, which leads to a low level of

Use synonyms

crimes

Fix the agreement mistake

crime

show examples

. In conclusion, it is never impossible to eliminate

Use synonyms

law breakers

Correct your spelling

lawbreakers

show examples

by instructing their illegal actions and threatening serious

crimes

Use synonyms

with fines. Irrespective of difficulties in changing

people

Use synonyms

's behaviours, teaching them as kids to follow regulations does create a positive impact.

phambaokhoi2005Sat Mar 15 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider providing clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the flow and guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

In the conclusion, summarize the main points more clearly and restate your opinion to reinforce your position on the topic.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.

task achievement

You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your use of transitional phrases helps maintain the flow of ideas, making your essay easier to follow.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prevent crime
crime prevention
deter potential offenders
law enforcement
rehabilitation
root causes of crime
penalties
neighborhood watch programs
community-based initiatives
surveillance
integration
globalization
youth engagement activities
current prevention strategies
post-crime interventions
social programs
sophisticated crime

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Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

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