IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As a result of tourism, many historical buildings and sites are being damaged beyond repair. What could be done to prevent this?

Tourism
Change noun form
Tourism's
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 impact on historical points is devastating and inferior in a term of preserving unique places for the future There are,
however
Linking Words
 some memorials about # on how those can be saved Before everything, many historical attractions must compete to a good condition shape or to be properly
maintaned
Correct your spelling
maintained
. They have standing in a place since a long time ago, and they must be tolerated with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dignity. Of course chase for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income and fame cannot be ignored. But greed and easy thinking could destroy that even
time
Correct word choice
if time
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 didn't manage to do so To supplement
this
Linking Words
 let's move our attention to the
Mediterrian
Correct your spelling
Mediterranean
Carphagen -
city
Add an article
a city
the city
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 that was known as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Rome's rival
What's ha
Wrong verb form
What has
show examples
 been left
from
Change preposition
of
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 the Carphagen nowadays? Only numerous stones and sticks that being
contsantly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 shaped and exploited by everyone without paying attention.
As a result
Linking Words
 - recent
discovery
Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
show examples
 on terrain changes
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 shown that there were
a
Correct article usage
apply
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preserved city complexes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 have been destroyed by
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
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 and ground
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
show examples
. It could be saved, though
a responsible ones
Correct the article-noun agreement
responsible ones
a responsible one
show examples
 didn't bother with annoying questions like preservation, restoration, etc.
Firstly
Linking Words
, historical sights must be managed in a proper way so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will continue to be in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 present time, not in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history Though,
however
Linking Words
 sometimes
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
interesting things might occur. I'm talking about one famous
italian
Change the capitalization
Italian
show examples
 tower that despite all the efforts
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
somewhat
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 maintenance. But it is standing on the ground because of a proper shall we say good management that saved the tower from being
laying
Correct your spelling
lying
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 on the ground
Secondly
Linking Words
,
historicall
Correct your spelling
historical
historically
 points should be limited for certain folks. Whether it is extra payment or face control or whatever. To supplement, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
folks just
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 obey
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rules and that's it
To conclude
Linking Words
 the problem
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 a
tideous
Correct your spelling
tedious
 and individual approach because those places are in different conditions

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task achievement
Enhance your introduction to clearly state your position and outline the key points you’ll discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your arguments with clearer explanations and connections between ideas, particularly in transitions between different points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your claims and arguments throughout the essay.
positive
You raised important points about the challenges of preserving historical sites amidst tourism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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