IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that cities are the best places to live, while others prefer to live in a rural area. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to the countryside.

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Nowadays
people
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 have few opinions about living
areas
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. Certain
people
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 prefer to live in a rural
area
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,
while
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 others choose to live in the
city
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 or towns. Each
place
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 has its own benefits and its convenience. The following essay will discuss some benefits and some drawbacks of living in the town and in a rural
area
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. On the one hand,
a
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apply
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certain
people
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 prefer and love to live in the
city
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.
Therefore
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, they believe that there are more
opportunities
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 for their career. It is a fact that the
city
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 offers a variety of facilities,
such
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 as express, universities, hospitals, advertisements for children and adults, restaurants, and education centres. The
city
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center
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centre
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 offers more job
opportunities
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 for graduates of foreign and famous companies or industries. Apart from that, there are amusement parks, shopping malls with famous brands,
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and better
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better skilled
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better-skilled
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 schools.
However
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,
this
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place
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 has some negative
sides
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,
such
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 as drawbacks of crime, overpopulation, and air pollution.
On the other hand
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, some groups of
people
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 guess that living in a rural
area
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 is beneficial. It is believed that
people
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 who live in rural
areas
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 have more
opportunities
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 for a longer life than
people
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 who live in the
city
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. These
areas
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 have fresh air and
it
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apply
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is
a
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the
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 main reason that they have a healthier life
,
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apply
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 because they breathe
this
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 air. Their products, vegetables, and fruits are natural and hygienic. There is no traffic and a fast tempo of living.
This
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place
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 offers a more relaxed and quiet environment. Notwithstanding,
this
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place
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 has some benefits and positive
sides
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,
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this
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but this
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place
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also
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 has some disadvantages. Several
people
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, especially students, found that the quality of education skills in these
areas
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 is left behind. Some of them do not see perspectives for themselves of job
opportunities
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.
Moreover
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, they choose to leave these
areas
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 and move to big cities. In conclusion, living in the
city
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 and the rural
area
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 have their own negative
sides
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 and beneficial
sides
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. It depends on each person. I choose life in big cities with overpopulated, big shopping malls, a lot of
opportunities
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 for my career.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on developing a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will provide a better roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly compare the advantages and disadvantages for each area in each paragraph, as this will enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or statistics related to city or rural living to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases such as 'this place' to improve the variety and clarity of your sentence structures.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant points regarding both urban and rural living conditions, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Rural setting
  • Lifestyle
  • Amenities
  • Public transportation
  • Cultural diversity
  • Environmental degradation
  • Cost of living
  • Mental health
  • Outdoor recreational activities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Healthcare access
  • Commuting
  • Population density
  • Overcrowding
  • Pollution
What to do next:
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