IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You rented a car from Car Rental Company. The air conditioner has stopped working. You phoned the company a week ago but it still has not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself – explain the situation – say what action you would like the company to take

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Dear Sir or Madam, I write to you with the intent of apprising you of the issue of broken air conditioner in my rental car . I rented your car on
march
Capitalize word
March
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 15 under the name of Kamal . As I already mentioned the flaw over the phone to your company but nobody takes it seriously.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , before it
working
Wrong verb form
worked
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slow
Change the word
slowly
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 but
nice
Change the word
nicely
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 it stopped fully .
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 , there is some wired sound coming from the system . Apparently, we all know in
summers
Fix the agreement mistake
summer
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 we can't sit without air conditioning at home so, how we can do long drives .
Additionally
Linking Words
, I am a
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
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, I have to travel from one place to another . My whole business
rely
Change the verb form
relies
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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travel . Alternatively, to rectify
this
Linking Words
 issue please exchange my car with
other vehicle
Change the wording
another vehicle
other vehicles
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. If it's not possible ,please install
new
Add an article
a new
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 system of cooling as soon as possible. I look forward to your proactive
invitative
Correct your spelling
invitation
. Yours sincerely, Kamal

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear introduction stating your issue and your expectations.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words to improve the flow of information between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Try to maintain a more formal tone, especially in the request and explanation sections.
task achievement
You clearly stated the issue with the car and the urgency due to your business needs.
task achievement
Your intention to resolve the issue is clearly communicated, and you provided a specific request.
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