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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart and table below illustrate the number of hospital facilities,
as well as
Linking Words
 the public well-being and the health sector investment in several developed countries.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar diagram, it clearly shows a drastic difference in hospital settings between these 8 countries.
Japan
Use synonyms
 records the highest number of
beds
Use synonyms
 in proportion to its population compared to the others.
This
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 figure almost doubles the number in Germany which provides 8
beds
Use synonyms
 per thousand of its demographics.
In contrast
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 to
Japan
Use synonyms
, other countries share a similar medical condition, offering approximately 4
beds
Use synonyms
 or less per one thousand individuals. On top of the discussion above, the table
also
Linking Words
 reflects a significant discrepancy between the government medical budgets and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public health and well-being. As indicated in the table,
Japan
Use synonyms
 has the longest average life expectancy, despite having the least amount of personal health funding. The US,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, has the most amount of money invested in public healthcare, yet the Americans are 5 years shorter than
Japan
Use synonyms
 in average
lengevity
Correct your spelling
longevity
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the two diagrams indicate a positive relation between the distribution of
beds
Use synonyms
 per patient and the length of the individual lifespan.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 seems to suggest that governmental funding in healthcare has no direct impact on extending life expectancy.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, beds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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