IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the number of participants by activities between 2000 and 2020.

The line graph shows the number of participants by activities between 2000 and 2020.
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The line chart illustrates the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 in four different activities at a social
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 in Melbourne over 2 decades between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Film Club experienced a significant rise in participation,
while
Linking Words
 Musical Performances saw a sharp decline. Table Tennis activities fluctuated but ended the period with a considerable increase. In 2000, the Film Club, which started with the highest number of
participants
Use synonyms
 at 65
people
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, showed a consistent upward trend, but
this
Linking Words
 figure declined steadily to approximately 58 by 2010
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
then
Linking Words
 hit a peak by 2020. Table Tennis participation remained relatively stable, with a sharp increase from 15 to 55
people
Use synonyms
 by 2020. Meanwhile, Martial Arts participation fluctuated but showed a gradual decline
overall
Linking Words
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Amateur Dramatics started with around 25
participants
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 saw a sharp decrease, dropping to below 10 by the end of the period. Musical Performances had the lowest number of
participants
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, starting at around 0
people
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by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2005, but
this
Linking Words
 figure increased steadily to approximately 25
people
Use synonyms
 by 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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