Children are now less active in their free time that in the past. Therefore, sports lesson must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s technologically advanced world, folk are becoming more and more physically inactive compared to the past.

This

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has led to the conviction of sports lessons becoming mandatory, with which I am in total agreement. Nowadays because of the development in technology and everything become machinery, children are less interested in physical activities

such

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as group exercise class or playing with peers as a team, etc.

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is the reason behind youth obesity in the

last

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decades.

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may contribute to lots of health issues

such

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as heart disease, diabetes and so on. So, to prevent the young generation from

such

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health problems it’s highly recommended to encourage pupils to work out

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at in

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early age in the frame of obligatory sports classes in kindergarten.

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, a lack of enthusiasm for physical contribution in young children can be considered as a reason why they are more interested in video games. Since video games or apps on mobiles do not need much energy new generation is more into

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games as hobbies in their leisure time.

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, students may experience an academic failure. So, making workout sessions mandatory can be considered

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apply

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a great solution to prevent students from academic failure. In conclusion, student laziness is a serious matter that should be addressed and I certainly believe by adding some compulsory exercise sessions to children's timetable we can highly encourage them to be more physically active and fresh.

yalda.nazari48Mon Mar 17 2025

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task achievement

Try to develop your ideas further by providing more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the central argument and flows logically from one idea to the next for better coherence.

general

Use a more formal tone and precise language to enhance the academic quality of your essay.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, setting a strong foundation for your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion summarizes your key points effectively and reinforces your main argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
digital entertainment
physical health
childhood obesity
social skills
teamwork
discipline
compulsory
curriculum
athletic
extracurricular
concentration
logistical challenges
financial challenges
preventive health measures
well-rounded development
mandatory participation
physical education
lifestyle diseases
motivation techniques

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Children are now less active in their free time that in the past. Therefore, sports lesson must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Influence of human beings on the world’s eco system is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweigh is increasing. What are the reasons for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Today more and more tourists are visitin places where conditions are difficult , such as sahara desertor the Antartica. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places.

Newspapers have influenced people's ideas and opinions. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative situation? the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative situation?