Children are now less active in their free time that in the past. Therefore, sports lesson must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today’s technologically advanced world, folk are becoming more and more physically inactive compared to the past.

This

Linking Words

has led to the conviction of sports lessons becoming mandatory, with which I am in total agreement. Nowadays because of the development in technology and everything become machinery, children are less interested in physical activities

such

Linking Words

as group exercise class or playing with peers as a team, etc.

This

Linking Words

is the reason behind youth obesity in the

last

Linking Words

decades.

This

Linking Words

may contribute to lots of health issues

such

Linking Words

as heart disease, diabetes and so on. So, to prevent the young generation from

such

Linking Words

health problems it’s highly recommended to encourage pupils to work out

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age in the frame of obligatory sports classes in kindergarten.

Additionally

Linking Words

, a lack of enthusiasm for physical contribution in young children can be considered as a reason why they are more interested in video games. Since video games or apps on mobiles do not need much energy new generation is more into

such

Linking Words

games as hobbies in their leisure time.

Consequently

Linking Words

, students may experience an academic failure. So, making workout sessions mandatory can be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a great solution to prevent students from academic failure. In conclusion, student laziness is a serious matter that should be addressed and I certainly believe by adding some compulsory exercise sessions to children's timetable we can highly encourage them to be more physically active and fresh.

yalda.nazari48Mon Mar 17 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to develop your ideas further by providing more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the central argument and flows logically from one idea to the next for better coherence.

general

Use a more formal tone and precise language to enhance the academic quality of your essay.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, setting a strong foundation for your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion summarizes your key points effectively and reinforces your main argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
digital entertainment
physical health
childhood obesity
social skills
teamwork
discipline
compulsory
curriculum
athletic
extracurricular
concentration
logistical challenges
financial challenges
preventive health measures
well-rounded development
mandatory participation
physical education
lifestyle diseases
motivation techniques

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Political dynasty is a form of political strategy, especially in developing countries. What problems does political dynasty cause, and what solutions can you suggest for governments and businesses to take?
In developing countries, the dynasty of politics is a manifestation of a political approach. There are some reasons behind this case and I will explain it below with solutions that I can give to the authority and business concerns.
7.5
band
Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?
People these days use the internet for everyday tasks, one of those tasks is sending money to friends, family, and businesses. This technology allows people to send and receive money quickly without the need to go to a regular ATM. While there are some concerns regarding fraud and data breaches, the convenience and efficiency outweighs those drawbacks.
7
band
You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you want to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter * Describe the problem you had with the tickets * Say why you were unhappy with the staff * Suggest what action the train company should take
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to express my dissastification of your staff service quality when I need assistance.
6.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
In the modern world, a significant number of married couples prefer not to have children because it has a variety of effects on newly married couples that could have both negative and positive sides to their psychological state. I reckon that a crucial number of people claim that they should have children after their marriage; however, others claim that if they have children after their marriage, they will suffer lots of problems. This means I strongly concur with the first view for several reasons.
6.5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is normal for university students to specialise in one particular subject, but some of them think that they should be able to take a wide range of subjects in addition to their chosen one. This essay will look at both viewpoints, then suggest that, although there are some benefits to be gained from additional subjects, students should probably focus on their majors.

Children are now less active in their free time that in the past. Therefore, sports lesson must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Political dynasty is a form of political strategy, especially in developing countries. What problems does political dynasty cause, and what solutions can you suggest for governments and businesses to take?

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.