IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safety is to let the driver test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is concerning that there are many
car
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 each year. In order to
having
Change the verb
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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safer
road
Use synonyms
 transportation, some
people
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 suggest that drivers need to be examined annually. I believe that
road
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safety
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 is affected by many factors, and
annual
Correct article usage
an annual
show examples
driver
Use synonyms
test
Use synonyms
 is not the most efficient method to solve the issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
annual
Correct article usage
an annual
show examples
driver
Use synonyms
test
Use synonyms
 is not a practical solution to the
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
 issue. The
driver
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test
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 commonly includes two main parts,
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 and knowledge
test
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, and
actual
Correct article usage
an actual
show examples
 driving
test
Use synonyms
 with
examiner
Add an article
an examiner
show examples
. Both
test
Use synonyms
 formats have their limitations. They are part of standardized
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 the
test
Use synonyms
 question may cover many scenarios in the
test
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, the
test
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 cannot fully reflect what actually will happen and cannot review all aspects of the real situation.
For example
Linking Words
, drunk driving is one of the
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
 of
car
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
. Many
people
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 know the possible consequences of driving under the influence but still choose to drive in
such
Linking Words
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, which
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
 serious aftermath. The repeat driving
test
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 will not boost
road
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safety
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 in those circumstances,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
driver's
Correct article usage
the driver's
show examples
 choice is the major reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
accidents
Use synonyms
. If
Use synonyms
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 complete, many annual
driver
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
test
Change to a plural noun
tests
show examples
 may not reduce the number of
car
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 on the
road
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 eventually..
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cost of
actual
Add an article
the actual
an actual
show examples
 driving
test
Use synonyms
 is a financial burden for drivers. To get a
Use synonyms
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
 license, many
people
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 invest their money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 driving
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
 and driving
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
. If they start to drive a vehicle, they are
also
Linking Words
 required to pay taxes, insurance, and cost of petrol, and
car
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 inspection
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
As
Change preposition
With
show examples
 the rising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cost of living, many
people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
struggle to pay bills, especially
people
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 with low social and economic backgrounds. They are unable to afford annual driving
test
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 that might
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
 them
to lose
Change the verb form
losing
show examples
 their license and jobs. In summary, completing multiple driving
Use synonyms
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 is not the best practical approach to enhance transportation
safety
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Consider improving the introduction to present a clearer stance on the issue, perhaps stating your opinion more decisively.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments, which would improve the depth of your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Revise grammar and word choice to improve clarity and to avoid small inaccuracies that could distract from your main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion against annual driver testing.
task achievement
Relevant points regarding the limitations of driver tests and financial burdens are made, which shows critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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