There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

There are various forms of

music

globally, each with unique characteristics and purposes.

Music

plays an essential role in human life, offering emotional release and acting as a medium for cultural expression. In my opinion,

while

international

music

contributes to global connections, traditional

music

remains more significant because it preserves cultural heritage and strengthens national identity. It is my view that

music

serves as an essential tool for expression, offering individuals a means to convey emotions and thoughts.

Music

acts as a form of emotional release, allowing

people

to express feelings they may

otherwise

struggle to articulate. Traditional

music

in particular

, holds deep cultural significance, as it embodies the values, stories, and beliefs of a society. By preserving traditional

music

, societies maintain a connection to their past, promoting a sense of cultural pride and continuity.

Furthermore

, traditional

music

often plays an educational role, as it can convey history and moral lessons, fostering social cohesion within communities.

In contrast

, some

people

claim that international

music

is more valuable in today's interconnected world

due to

its role in promoting globalization and cultural exchange. They firmly insist that the popularity of international

music

fosters understanding among diverse cultures, uniting

people

across borders.

However

, I do not find

this

argument convincing as it overlooks the risk of cultural homogenization, where traditional

music

could be overshadowed by global trends.

Although

international

music

can bring

people

together, it does not necessarily reflect the unique values of any specific culture.

Therefore

, prioritizing traditional

music

over international

music

is essential to maintain cultural diversity. In conclusion, I completely agree with the view that traditional

music

is more important than international

music

because it serves as a crucial means of preserving cultural heritage and fostering national identity.

While

international

music

facilitates global connection, traditional

music

remains irreplaceable in upholding the cultural legacy of a nation.

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example suggestions

Incorporate more specific examples or anecdotes to enhance the support of your main points.

cohesion improvement

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to improve overall flow.

introduction

Your introduction clearly outlines the main points that the essay will address, setting a strong foundation.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively restates your main argument and provides a thoughtful closure to the essay.

balanced argument

You provide a balanced discussion by acknowledging the role of both traditional and international music.

topic sentences

The use of clear topic sentences helps to guide the reader through your arguments effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have been volunteering at a local organisation but you can no longer do so. Write a letter to the head of the organisation to explain why you must leave. In your letter: Describe the work you have been doing and what you have learnt. Explain why you must leave. Suggest someone to replace you.

The linegraph gives information about the number of production (in million tonnes) of pulp, timber and paper in European country between 1980 and 2000

With an increasing population working from home, some feel that this will bring an end to the traditional office setting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that social media sites have a huge negative effect on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have had a problem with your next-door neighbour. You have not been able to speak to your neighbor about this.