Advertising that targets children should be banned from our televisions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Undoubtedly, it is commonplace that numerous commercial breaks are directed toward

children

Use synonyms

in modern society.

While

Linking Words

some people think it is necessary to strictly

prohibite

Correct your spelling

prohibited

prohibit

advertisements

Use synonyms

since they may impact

children

Use synonyms

negatively. As for my perspective, I am in favour of

this

Linking Words

viewpoint, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated as follows. Once

children

Use synonyms

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

exposed to overwhelming

advertisements

Use synonyms

, they are more likely to fail to manage their pocket money effectively. To be more specific, most of the immature

children

Use synonyms

lack critical thinking and budgeting skills, making them easily to be influenced by

advertisements

Use synonyms

thereby buying merchandise

rescklessly

Correct your spelling

recklessly

. Take

myself

Change the pronoun

show examples

as an example. When I was in primary school, there was an advertisement

frequently

Correct pronoun usage

that frequently

show examples

appeared on TV promoting

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the new Disney toys which grabbed lots of attention among our classmates including me.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I

spend

Wrong verb form

spent

show examples

all of my pocket money

from

Change preposition

show examples

the gadget without hesitation

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

regardless

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

expensive it was.

As a result

Linking Words

, I faced money deficiency and

therefore

Linking Words

cannot

Wrong verb form

could not

show examples

afford textbooks in my next session. The other underlying problem with

this

Linking Words

phenomenon

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the detrimental consequences of substantial

advertisements

Use synonyms

childrens’

Change noun form

children’s

show examples

body health.

That is

Linking Words

to say,

children

Use synonyms

may consume lots of artificial materials or unhealthy

additive

Fix the agreement mistake

additives

show examples

after watching snacks or fast

food related

Add a hyphen

food-related

show examples

advertisements

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, picture a scenario

that

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

which Mcdonald’s

show examples

Mcdonald’s

Correct your spelling

McDonald’s

show examples

promotes their new set for

children

Use synonyms

with attractive toys.

Subsequently

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

will start queuing a line in front of the stores only for the toys and consume lots of beverages and

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast food

which are high-fat and high-sugar. These unhealthy diets can significantly increase the

likelyhood

Correct your spelling

likelihood

of suffering from obesity and diabetes. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, it is essential to make an effort to prevent

children

Use synonyms

from reaching

advertisements

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the negative impact on

childrens’

Change noun form

children’s

show examples

shopping habits and physical health.

angeia4622492Tue Mar 18 2025

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task achievement

Ensure to elaborate more on the reasons behind your opinions. Each point should be supported with deeper analysis or implications of the arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases; careful proofreading could help improve clarity and precision.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a clear direction for your essay.

task achievement

The examples you provided related to your personal experience and the health implications of advertisements are relevant and add weight to your arguments.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Advertising that targets children should be banned from our televisions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Deforestation is one of the major environmental issues in many countries today. What are the main causes of deforestation? What measures can be taken to reduce its effects?

The most important aims of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the provision of healthcare is the responsibility of the state, while others believe the individual to be responsible for the costs of their own healthcare. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these perspectives?

Your workplace does not have a parking area for cars, and it is causing some problems. Write a letter to your manager and include the following: – Describe the problems it has caused. – Explain what benefits a parking area would bring to the company. – Suggest a solution.