IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some argue that teachers should focus on academics more than motivating students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a view that instructors ought to pay attention mainly to lectures
instead
Linking Words
 of inspiring
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some argue in favour, I oppose
this
Linking Words
 notion. On the one hand, academics are the foundation of education. These days, There are many various types of subjects which are being taught during the study period. There are a lot of both useful and useless ones among them.
For example
Linking Words
, admissions are supposed to learn math, literature, history and others.
As a result
Linking Words
, They will have studied a lot of topics by the time they finish school.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government has included these subjects in education for children to acquire.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, motivating impact on
students
Use synonyms
' potential.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, their creative thinking, and how to solve issues and overcome challenges.
For instance
Linking Words
, If they like subjects or activities, they will be able to achieve high achievements. If tutors inspire constantly their
students
Use synonyms
, they will find their own careers in life.
However
Linking Words
, they have
also
Linking Words
 gained other knowledge. Because it will allow them to adapt to their lifestyle.
Thus
Linking Words
, first and foremost, the teachers ought to motivate their
students
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, nowadays, many educational programs are increasing in widespread, but teachers should let them learn what they want.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Consider rephrasing the thesis statement to clearly convey your disagreement with the idea that teachers should focus more on academics than motivation.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea, followed by supporting details. Make sure to separate ideas clearly for better understanding.
task achievement
Add more relevant examples to support your arguments. For example, provide specific instances of how motivation can lead to successful outcomes in students’ academic or personal lives.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure. For instance, the phrase 'there are many various types of subjects' can be simplified to 'there are various subjects'. Aim for more concise sentences for clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You have highlighted the importance of motivation in education, which is a relevant and valuable point to make.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • motivational strategies
  • foundational understanding
  • engagement
  • dynamic learning environment
  • well-rounded students
  • long-term benefits
  • personal drive
  • educational experience
  • emotional support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: