Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a view that young individuals should be prosecuted as adults when they commit
severely
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severe
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offenses
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offences
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,
while
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some
people
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argue in
favor
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favour
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as it helps
understanding
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to understand
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the issue efficiently, I strongly oppose
this
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notion as it cause
variety
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a variety
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of problems in the future. On one hand, punishing
adolescences
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adolescents
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the
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with the
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same method as elders
have
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has
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several benefits. One major factor is
that
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apply
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receiving mistakes quickly. It means that young criminals never do it again a second time reflecting on their issues.
For example
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, penalizing young
people
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when commit an illegal sentence
prison
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in prison
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can help to discipline
behavior
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behaviour
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with
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in
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the same way as adults.
Therefore
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, punishment
do
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does
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help to
disciple
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discipline
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revealed criminals and prevent others from committing a crime.
On the other hand
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,
this
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trend has negative implications. The primary concern is the difficulty
finding
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of finding
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jobs.
This
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is because that serious illegal act has a high probability
turning
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of turning
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to crime repeatedly for lawbreakers. Set the example, some jobs like working with children and handling money, do not allow
people
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with certain crimes to apply. Another important factor is the health condition that
come
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comes
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with being punished, which can adversely affect both mental and physical well-being for younger.
For instance
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, if
adolescence
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adolescents
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strict
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are strict
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brought
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and brought
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up
alike
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like
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elders may cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress and anxiety
as a result
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.
Thus
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, punishments do not help to discipline young revealed criminals. In conclusion, granted, letting
people
Use synonyms
know that they misconducted somewhere can be advantageous in some cases, but I am of the view that
Correct article usage
the punishments
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punishments
Fix the agreement mistake
punishment
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method
does
Verb problem
should
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not be relied on
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by young
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young
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younger
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generations.

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task achievement
Clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction. It would help to clearly state your disagreement with punishing young individuals as adults right at the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the connection between ideas by using more cohesive devices. For instance, use 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the contrary' to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics related to recidivism rates among young offenders compared to adults.
argument presentation
You have presented both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively, reiterating your stance on the issue clearly.
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